My next mental challenge is the battle between the side of me that finds
this stuff really challenging, really working my muscles, and really
making me try hard to get this right, vs. the side of me that says,
"What the hell have you done all your life that makes you so weak? You
should be embarassed for yourself".
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| Is it too much to ask for it to return the love? |
I feel silly that I'm
having to do what I deem as simple things like clams, kegels, and
bridges just to get myself into some sort of 'better' shape. I know
this is about recovery from this injury, but, I feel like a meek little
damsel who couldn't save herself from an attack by a fly. At the same
time, I see myself working, sweating, and feeling sore from the core work I'm
doing, and, let's face it,
who doesn't feel a little bad ass when they
sweat?
My physical therapist found the 'sweet spot' the other night.
We She found the point of injury with a single stretch. Imagine two kids pulling on the wish bone after Thanksgiving dinner and you've got a nice visual of me on the table with my therapist pulling that leg off the table sideways. Oh, that was a good stretch. Amazingly, to me, the pain and discomfort was gone when I got up and walked after she was done with the contortion. It wasn't a permanent pain vacation, but, it was enough that we now know what area to focus on the most, and can rule out other muscles or a nerve as the source of my pain.
I guess athletes can relate when you say, "I'm going to
PT", but, to have to go to therapy for a pulled muscle seems to me like
seeing a surgeon for a hang nail. I know it's not, but, that's the
mental game I play. I don't want to be seen as the fool.
But why do I think I'll look like a fool if I have a sport/running injury? Isn't that supposed to be cool?So
you can see that my brain is still desperate for the same kind of work
my body is getting. In sports, as is true in life in general, it's the
brain that needs the most work to keep healthy.
I wonder if wine
therapy is endorsed by my health insurance provider?
