Finding that comfort zone

I do not want to eat outside of the parameters of Whole30. I almost don't know what to do when faced with foods that are not W30 compliant. I continue to plan meals and snacks that are compliant and really don't want to stray. I have found comfort in knowing what's in the food I make, serve, and eat. There's comfort in knowing that what I'm eating won't leave me bloated or feeling badly. There's comfort in knowing that I'll wake up refreshed. It's a good feeling.

We had our annual wine and cheese party on Saturday night. I enjoyed some wine and a spritzer I made, as well as some cheeses and other snacks. I did not sit down with a plate full and gorge myself, I was very much in control of what I was taking in. Being hostess helped, too, because I didn't really have ample time to eat. I did eat lunch that day, just an Italian beef, no bun, so I was not starved and craving snacks.

Sunday was clean up day after a very late night, and I admit that I had some leftover taco dip and some cheeses with crackers. When you're too tired and lazy to cook, that's what happens. Plus, I'm a sucker for a good goat or sheep milk cheese. And brie. With apples. See, it was sort of healthy!

Today I was super tired, but I still made myself eggs and veggies for breakfast. I have bacon, but didn't have the energy to make it this morning. Tomorrow. Yes.

Aside from adding bacon, I don't really see myself changing my breakfast and lunch choices. I'm pretty happy eating as clean as I have been, and I like the way I feel when I do so. As drastic as it sounds, even my coffee hasn't been as satisfying as I thought it would be! After a cup or two in the morning, I'm fine, then I'm looking for my hot tea. I'm not going to argue, I'm going to enjoy it.

This weekend I may try to reintroduce another food/ingredient, but I will have to identify that in a couple of days. For now, I want to continue my focus on maintaining the good feeling of healthy eating. I'm also increasing my water intake this week. A few glasses of wine over the weekend and now I can't get enough water!

Day 21, Interlude day - nine.more.days....

There are nine days left in this Whole30. Nine.days.left. It feels odd to be saying that when all month long it's felt more like a month left every day. The end is near. It's almost bittersweet. I'm settling in to the point where I almost wonder how to eat any other way. Well, let's not get wild. I am really looking forward to my morning coffee and coconut milk creamer, and the ultimate pay off - a glass of wine. For now, though, I've found some new recipes and love what I've made, and I enjoy looking for new stuff to make and I look forward to eating it.

I'm not ready for a summary just yet, but I can say these few things about the process so far:

• Overall bloating is way down. It's incredible how used to being bloated we get without realizing it.
• My watch is loose on my wrist. See above point.
• Prosciutto. Need I say more?
• Sleep is sooooo much better. Without the uppers (coffee) and downers (alcohol) to fuel the daily duel, it's amazing how good sleep can be. Except, of course, if your cat sleeps on your head like mine does. 
• Steamed brussels sprouts. Who knew?
• I have so much more energy. Wow.

Two tidbits I do have at this stage, however, should help you decide if fall is a good time for you to try a Whole30.

1. There is a reason they don't encourage you to do a Whole30 at/around the holidays. One word - Thanksgiving.
2. Fall time change. Yikes. I hadn't anticipated my changing energy levels in conjunction with the time change. It's midnight before I leave work at 4:30PM.

Tidbits and challenges aside, I truly enjoy the way I'm feeling and the way my clothes fit me now. I look forward to getting things accomplished on weekends because I know I won't be dragging in the morning from eating like crap the night before or having too many glasses of wine.

Nine more days. No biggie, right?

Week one down, 22 days to go

An easy start to day 8

One week down, only three more to go. Easy enough, right? Not so fast. This is far from easy.

On day one, I had a rush of panic in the middle of the morning. My brain flipped out. Not sure what the problem was. It's not like I've been snacking, eating crap, or binging for any recent period of time, but, knowing that those things are not part of the next 30 days really set in. Day one ended without a cheat or fumble, and all was well with the world.

The World Series happening on days one and two certainly didn't help me, but, I didn't let it derail the train. Luckily for my W30, I'm not a stress eater, rather, I can't eat. My stomach was in knots until Saturday, day five, so any thought of snacking or non-compliant cravings was really a non-issue. I even survived the downtown parade and celebration without even a coffee or adult beverage. How? I honestly don't know, but, my mental game is totally in check at this point.

Go Cubs go!!

 The #1 question I got about my Whole30 at a party on Saturday night was, "Why?". Why am I doing this? Why November? Why not in January? My answers sort of surprised even me. I don't think I'd truly thought too much about the 'why' of it all. Sure, some weight loss and feeling better were benefits, but, really......why?

Why am I doing this?
I want to feel better. I want to learn more about how my body reacts to different things I eat, so I know what causes my bloating, fatigue, and what impacts my ADD symptoms. I want to break some bad habits. It's been over three years since I did my first Whole30, and I've gotten off track with my good eating since then, developing some pretty bad habits in that time. I drink too much too often, and I make poor choices when I am hungry.

Why November?
I've spent the better part of a year now trying to get myself to put my fitness and health first. There is never a "good time". Initially, we didn't have much planned during November. I have mentally prepared myself to do this for a couple of months. We are home more now that it's fall, and I'm able to spend more time cooking and developing better habits regarding what I cook. I knew that by the time Ethel's birthday party weekend (19th) and actual birthday (26th) rolled around, I'd be well into the swing of things, and on my way to the finish line. I am confident that at Thanksgiving, I can handle myself, as well. I know that I can bring a side dish, then I will have turkey and my side, and any veggies or fruit that are there, and I'll be fine. I'm really not intimidated by Thanksgiving this year.

As for the question of why now, why not after the first of the year -
Starting in January seems much harder to me. After the gluttony that surrounds the holidays, it seems that it would take quite a bit more effort to adjust to things like not having my coffee, not having any wine with dinner, and not enjoying some of the treats I might otherwise reach for. I need to reset my mindset. I need to go into the holidays feeling good to start with, not feeling like I'm tired, unable to focus, and run down. With SAD season in full swing, it's also imperative that I keep those negative food influences to a huge minimum. I just felt like if I don't do this now, I know I'll continue on the path I've been on, and will be farther away from my overall fitness and health goals. I want to lose some weight and feel better in my own skin. I've been miserable for way too long.

I'm on day 8, and after a whirlwind weekend, I'm feeling pretty good. Days 6-7 are said to be the days your body wants nothing more than a nap. Well, we just had the fall time change, so mornings are a little easier for the next few days. The evenings and nights are when it's going to be tough. I was ready for bed at 7:30 the other night. After working all day today, tonight should be rather interesting. Today I feel as if I might have lost a little weight. I do see less bloat in my belly, and I do feel "lighter". I feel better. I know it will get worse before it gets better, and I'm just glad that's going to hit during the week rather than on the weekend. I have less access to eating crappy when I'm at work than I do at home.

I really feel that I'll come out better on the other side of this 30 days. It's not rocket science. This isn't an impossible mission. This is a change, one that I needed to make for myself. I am happier waking up not feeling bloated, tired, and unfocused. And now that the World Series is over, I can get back to my normal evening routines and normal bed time!

It's only 30 days, right?

Halloween has now come and gone and I only ate two pieces of chocolate and a sip of wine. I wasn't able to snap any pictures of the kids in their costumes, a term loosely used this year, and I have no solid excuse. Last year was the first year we didn't go trick or treating as a family. Ethel decided she wanted to go with a friend, and it was the strangest feeling not having her with us. This year she repeated the trend, and we took Fred around our neighborhood. Last year his friends came around and we were able to organize a small posse. This year, he passed one friend and one came to the door later in the evening, but, none to walk the rounds with. We did get to walk with some neighbors and their lovely 16 month old, whom I also did not capture in a picture. Clearly I was off my picture taking game.

I did get this lucky shot of One Eyed Pete. Ethel removed both cats' collars so they could be stray cats for Halloween.

While Ethel, the unicorn, was out with friends, we were out with Fred, the hockey player. He skated around and eventually took a spill and wanted to go home. The magic just wasn't there for us this year, which was fine with me. Ethel, of course, still made candy collecting a sport and duly noted her triumph over Fred in the contest that wasn't a contest. For the first year in recent memory (well, 12 years for us), the weather was wonderful and walking around with the kids was actually pleasant. I did agree to a Butterfinger and some peanuts M&Ms, and a sip of wine from our lovely neighbors. They have learned well from my example, carrying on the "Drink and Treat" tradition that I started when Ethel was a wee one. Well done, neighbor!

Today I embark on my second Whole30. I am not going this one alone, I have two girlfriends along with me for this 30 day ride. We have already exchanged some day one words of encouragement, and we still like each other. We all know what we're in for, and have agreed not to take personally any negativity that any of us may spew between now and November 30th. We are all excited about feeling better, running better, and hopefully dropping a few pounds. 

Can I charge this guy rent?

 What better way to start your day than hearing, "Mommy, why is there a HUGE mosquito on your wall???"? The morning rush is fun enough, why not add a massive bug in the bedroom to the mix?

Despite the large insect in my room, I was able to squeeze out my breakfast and lunch for the day and get them packed. I've fallen for brussels sprouts over the past couple of years. No, it's not chocolate, but, I am not repulsed by them. If that doesn't sell you on trying them, I don't know what will. Anyway, breakfast is a simple combo of sprouts, slaw, red onion, and some diced chicken. Lunch is a Greek salad with tuna. That one I'm super excited to have later on!

I am on day six without coffee. Have you seen me on the news? No, you haven't. There, see? If I can do it, you can do it! I'm adding new focus to hot tea, which I usually enjoy in the winter anyway. The warmer fall we're having is making it a little harder to get into the hot drink spirit, but, I'm managing. Some peppermint tea to start the day is actually a bit refreshing.

My biggest difficulty is around 2:30 in the afternoon when I'm at work. That post-lunch food coma triggers my brain to want to eat everything crunchy and salty that it can find. It's the darndest thing. I've succeeded in beating the beast for the last two or three work days, so I'm pretty sure it's going to be OK. I've got a Larabar to help in case of emergency. Water, water, water.

Don't get used to the pictures or any sort of daily updates. Day one I'm still happy and feel encouraged. My next update may be hateful and angry. You've been warned.

Because elastic pants aren't ideal

My daughter has some sensory things going on, so from a very early age she has worn nothing but leggings. As long as the waist is elastic (no buttons, snaps, zippers) she'll wear it, and Old Navy has leggings for cheap. Done. I am now 44 years old and don't have the same sensory things going on, so I will wear jeans, shorts, or pants with buttons or snaps or zippers.

Over the last two years, my activity level has gone way down. I stopped playing softball, and I have reduced my running to almost a dead stop. After finishing the Grand Rapids Marathon in 2014 I fell into a polar vortex funk, using my newly acquired tendonitis in my ankle and the horrible winter as an excuse for not being more active. I was happy to sleep in on Saturday mornings, stay home with the kids on week nights, and continue with my food intake as if I was still training for the marathon. It was both a blessing and a curse when I discovered that Vera Wang made workplace appropriate pants with elastic in the waist line. Damn you, Vera!

Elastic pants should be reserved for kids like my daughter, toddlers wearing diapers, and adults on Thanksgiving a after the feast. While these pants are very comfortable, I never planned on them becoming such a staple in my wardrobe, let alone the only pants I could fit into for a full winter season. I initially intended to wear them through last winter season and get my butt in gear in the spring so I could get myself back in shape and back into my regular work pants. Then summer crept up, and whadda know - I barely squeezed into any of my summer wear. When you're unbottoning at your desk at work by 10AM, something is drastically wrong. Time to make some changes.

I started by going back to full-on Paleo in spring. Kind of fell off the rails over Derby weekend in May. Got back on the horse some time in June, and have done sort of OK since. I have run on and off during the summer months, but not enough that I'd even say I'm running. My hip took a bad turn, literally, to the point where I could barely walk until I went back to my PT, tail between my legs, and got it set back in place. That was a bit of a scare, I'll be honest. I haven't had a good long run since August 2015 when I was in San Francisco visiting family. It hurts, and it sucks. I need to get back into shape so I can run again, and keep my body from revolting.

Enter - dietary changes. Big ones. I can't ignore it any longer. Enter - exercise. I run, I like it, I can do it, it's easy for me, and I miss it. Running isn't going to get me into the shape I need to be in to stay healthy. My hips aren't going to just magically stay in place without some help. I have to focus on long term health, not just getting through the next marathon, the next 5K PR, or fitting into pants. 

Welcome, my second Whole30. My first foray into Whole30 was in April 2013. I was introduced to it, and Paleo life, by a good friend of mine, and we did the 30 day adventure together with another friend. It was pretty awesome, I have to admit. It changed the way I eat and the way I look at the food I cook for me and my family. I made a half-hearted attempt at it again last November and I crashed and burned. I wasn't mentally in the game, and I didn't plan like I should have. This time is different.

I'm now meeting with a personal trainer to develop a workout plan. I joined the chintzy fitness center at the end of my street so I have a place to go away from the kids, the kitchen, and messy house, to focus on me. I'm declaring my readiness, and making myself accountable. I've set a few short term goals for myself which are realistic and attainable. In the longer term, I'm looking at getting back to marathon training. In the longer long term, I am excited to have more energy, more strength, and less time saying, "I'm injured". No more excuses. Time to prevent the injuries!

I'm only putting this out there because one of the first things I need to do is acknowledge my commitment. I have to make this real. I have to step outside my comfort zone. I have to follow through. I'm not a gym rat, I hate gyms. This fitness center is less of a gym and more like someone's basement that a few people visit on occasion and I like that. It's not crowded. It's not full of skinny bitches, guidos, and sweaty assholes. It's not the most modern facility, but I have to get out of my house and make this happen. Fitness and health don't just happen, you have to make them happen.

I'm excited for this Whole30 because I want to feel better, and I know this will get me there. Nothing is easy, but I know I can do this. You're probably wondering, what the hell is Whole30? All I'm going to say is it's all over the 'web, so I'm not going to reinvent the wheel. Visit the web site, or Google it, and learn for yourself. That's the beauty of the internet!

So there, I said it. I'm doing it. I will begin my Whole30 on November 1st. I'm preparing menus, shopping lists, and I'm preparing my mind. I'm no food photographer, and I don't like to stop and take pictures of every step of something I'm doing. I do need to keep some sort of diary of my progress, and when I think of it and have the time (ie: when I'm not cooking and food prepping) I'll do that here. I'm not one to go shout from mountain tops and tell everyone they should do this, and I'm not here to get anything out of using my blog to track this, only to give my brain a space to unload and share my experience, and maybe some bad pictures of good food. If that's not inspiring, I don't know what is, right?

EK update - the seasonal peel

My hands have been healthy for the last several months, and I really thought I'd turned a corner.  Then March came along and had to ruin everything.

I've been watching my hands, using my  Gold Bond lotion, and really happy that the skin on my hands has been healthy.  I notice that when I drink wine or beer my skin dries out, but a couple days, some hydration and lotion, and it's back to normal.  No peeling or blisters.

A couple weeks ago I started to notice that the skin on a couple of my fingers was becoming tough, almost hard, and more smooth than normal.  It wasn't long before the first tell-tale dry blister appeared, and it was all downhill from there. 

I won't show my fingers peeling,
just imagine peeling a banana.

My two index fingers, my right pinky, and my left 2nd finger, all peeled either in the middle of the fingers or at the tips.  My right index finger took the worst of it this time, with the skin at the joints being so raw that it hurts.  I'd take pictures, but A) who wants to look at nasty skin, and B) I'm not that good at capturing this awful condition and the pictures don't really do it justice.

I will say that this outbreak is less severe than the one I had last summer in May and June.  I would go so far as to say that the skin is even starting to heal. It's still annoying and it still pisses me off.

I'm applying the lotion like always, and it does seem to keep the skin from getting dried out, since the peeled areas are basically raw skin now.  I have one spot on my right thumb where I peeled a little much and got some healthy skin, and it's pretty deep and hurts like crazy.  

I went online again yesterday looking for more information and, wishfully, answers.  The forum that I'd found last year which pointed me in the direction of EK actually had recent entries from this year, after a few months of no activity.  I know the condition is not all that common, but, I am surprised at how little info there is out there on EK, so I was happy to see some more recent discussions about it.  I even found some talk about EK on a trade forum for manicurists. 

Still, it seems that even dermatologists are puzzled by EK and it's usually misdiagnosed for a long time.  There are people who use sandpaper on their hands to minimize outbreaks, some who swear by certain topical treatments, and others who find comfort in dietary changes. 

I'm going to settle on using the Gold Bond and see how long it takes to get my hands back to healthy.  At night, I'm mixing a little Bacitracin in with my lotion and I like to believe it's doing something to help heal the skin.  It's at least keeping the raw, deep peeled areas from developing infection.

They say that outbreaks tend to be worse in the summer, in the warmer months.  I was really glad we had this freakishly warm weather in March, but I could have done without an early outbreak of EK.