Tuesday, July 2, 2013

In the Mommy 'hood

Thoughts from last night's run:

This is how I feel running, into the wind, up long, steady inclines
Who runs with lipstick and eyeshadow?
This is how I feel as a parent, dealing with the constant demands, whines, objections, what-ifs, and general duties associated with young children.

Is this more effective than coffee?
And when all is said and done, the run is complete, the children are asleep, and Mommy is having some wine finally sitting down and relaxing {insert hysterical laughter here}.....

Minus the lipstick
Honestly, though, as I got through the run last night, I realized that there have been so many times when I just wanted to quit. Just stop, toss the shoes, not run the next run or race, and walk away. At home, I am overwhelmed. Some days I feel like I am not cut out for this motherhood thing. I want to run away more often than not, or so it seems. Ironic, right?

What makes me want to keep at it, or even do it again, is the feeling at the finish. Whether it's a race or a fun run, or kissing the tears off a cheek and seeing a smile, the feeling of knowing I did it really keeps me going.

The last few weeks have been tough, and last week I could feel it in my legs on every run. Last night, though, I could feel the stress of the day fade throughout the whole run. I remembered the feeling of being able to accomplish what I need to after a good run. It was a feeling I haven't had in quite a while, and it felt good to finally have it back.

And, to top off my night, I made it to Fred's first Rookie Ball game (just a little late). I got through my day, melted away some of the stress, and got to see him play in his first game.

I have terrible Mommy guilt most of the time, and being late to the game last night didn't help that at all. Still, getting a hug from Ethel, and watching Fred out there watching airplanes and running to first base, it was like a big reward for the day.