Mommy's Project 52:12 Time Out

Time, the 80's version

Time out.  Time out can be a form of discipline for a child.  Time out can be time spent outside enjoying a walk, the park, a bike ride, or anything outside the house.  Time out can be time spent with a friend, significant other, or alone.  Time out takes on new meaning once you have children.  That's not to say that you can't benefit from some time out if you don't have kids, of course, but honestly, there's nothing like the feeling of time away from the house, kids, pets, dishes, laundry, and sticky floors (OK, that last one might be just me).

Time out is one thing I didn't get enough of my first few years as a parent.  Finally, in 2010, I began enjoying a morning out once a week for a mere couple of hours.  It made a world of difference.  Seriously, two hours isn't much until you sit back and realize that you've spent the majority of the past few years just slightly more social than a hermit.  That's not to say that Hot Dad and/or I had not gotten out of the house those first few years, but the time we did spend out wasn't really spent on ourselves, or on us as a couple.  Instead, we each had our own things to do, our own softball teams to play on, and our own social interactions with different people, and it was rare that we took time out to recharge our own batteries, or reconnect with each other.

Everyone needs a break from the rigors of life.  Work, home, rent, mortgage, family, friends, it's all enough to drive someone insane if they don't get a break once in a while.  Whether it be weekly, monthly, whatever, we all need to take time out from all that we have going on every day and do something for ourselves.

I spent a great deal of time scrapbooking, which was one awesome way to get out of the house, see my girlfriends, and walk down memory lane as I scanned through piles of pictures that I'd printed out in hopes of creating some sort of amazing display on paper with which to showcase them.  It was just the start for me as I searched for something that would allow me to feel like an adult, an individual, something resembling the person I was before kids, and not have a small human attached to my hip at the same time.  It was great, and I was able to showcase the first year or so of my first born's life.  Not much, but, it's a start.

I play softball.  What used to be three and four competitive leagues each summer has turned into one league at work, about as non-competitive as they get, which involves probably more beer than ball.  Weekly, though, I get to enjoy time with coworkers and friends outside the office, away from home, and in a setting of semi-competitive drinking softball.  I happen to also run the league, which affords me the opportunity to change gears and do something other than the tasks required by my job and my home and family.  It's challenging, but not entirely unlike being a mother.  Adults, despite what you might think, are really just children in larger bodies.  They still need to be reminded to use nice words, to follow the rules, be nice to others, and to listen to directions, among many other things. 

It wasn't until last year that I realized that I really had not been spending time on ME.  Sure, I got out of the house and did things, but, I wasn't paying attention to ME, to the person who ultimately needs me most.  And so began my Me Time Sundays.  I spent the majority of the wintry Sunday mornings at a local coffee house, taking time to enjoy the quiet around me, the feeling of not being called for, of not tending to the needs of small people, of not worrying that I wasn't getting enough done or when I'd be able to get a shower and dry my hair or when I'd get the house clean finally or when all the laundry would finally be done or when the kids would just fall asleep for their naps so that I could manage to do anything without them underfoot.  Those Sunday mornings helped me in countless ways.  I got photos sorted on my laptop.  I read a couple of books.  I drank coffee that I didn't have to make (with free refills).  I responded to e-mails from friends, and even sent some of my own.  I kept my calendar up to date.  I relaxed.  I came home energized rather than exhausted.  I also gave Hot Dad and the kids some time to establish their own Sunday morning rituals.  Most importantly for Hot Dad, I gave him the chance to be a dad without a mom being there to sabotage his efforts (knowingly or otherwise).  Those Sunday mornings were great for all of us.

As summer approached, those Sunday morning outings were a little more difficult to squeeze in, and this Hot Mama picked up on a new love.  Wine.  Running. 

OK, so wine is another joy in my life, but running is my true departure.  It's this Mommy's Time Out.  I have noticed a huge change in myself since I began running, and I almost don't recognize the wife and mother I was before.

I began running to appease a friend who wanted me to run a 5K.  Once I finished that race, I started running weekly, then three times a week, and now I'm often hitting the pavement four or five times a week, and I race like it's going out of style.  To say that I am hooked is really an understatement.

Running is my time out.  It makes me feel like I can simply do anything I set my mind to.  It gives me time alone, doing something that only I can do for myself.  It's time I can spend letting my mind go wherever it wants to go.  It's given me confidence that I didn't have before.  It's given me new appreciation for a hot shower.  It's also given me a new appreciation for my husband and my kids.  And that, in a nut shell, is what I call Hot Confidence.

Running is this mommy's time out.  What is yours?

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