Mommy's Project 52:52 Active

I'm kind of sad that Mommy's Project: 52 is coming to a close.  I am really happy, though, that it helped me keep my blog active over the last year!  Having a topic to write about each week (I think I might have missed one or two, though, sorry!), meeting other bloggers, and touching on subjects I wouldn't have probably thought to touch on has been lots of fun.

In the last year, my daughter completed first grade, my kids turned 7 and 5, I completed my first half marathon, we took a family vacation, my husband started bowling in a league which he really enjoyed, and we're getting set to do all that again (minus the 7 and 5 thing).  In the coming year, my son will be in kindergarten, I will be working toward resolving the injury to my hip, my husband will bowl his second season in the league he joined, and the kids will turn 8 and 6 (I closed my eyes to type that because I don't believe they're going to be those ages), among many other things.  Time flies, it's amazing.

First grade

Love summer vacations

Someone's 7

A happy five year old

Big half marathon finish!

I have never been one to exercise, I'll be honest.  I used to run in college (once in a while), ran reluctantly in high school (thank you, Presidential Physical Fitness testing), but that is about the extent of the exercising I've ever done.  Every once in a while I would try to follow those "melt those love handles away with these easy exercises" from the magazines, but it's always short lived.  Once I started running in 2010, I knew I'd found something that could help me melt away stress, get myself in better shape, and handle things in my daily life better than I was handling them before.  Once I got injured in January of this year, however, things changed drastically.

Not being able to run, for much of this year, I had to find something to keep myself active, while also helping heal the injury to my hip.  Because the hip area is a complex system of more than just your waist and a place to wear your belt, I focused on work that would strengthen that entire area and enrolled in a core class.  I haven't taken a class in years.  I took yoga and pilates several years before the kids with a girlfriend, and admit that I did yoga at home on a semi-regular basis until I got married.  This core class, though, is really making a difference, and I plan to stick with it for a while, especially while I recover from this hip injury.

I play coed softball and have since I was about 18.  These days, I play once a week in a beer league that I organize at work.  Hot Dad joined our team last year, so we get to play ball together again like we did when we first met.  During summers, softball gets me out of the house weekly, I get the opportunity to socialize with coworkers outside the office, and when we can get a sitter it's a break from the kids for me.  Before running, summer softball was my only form of activity outside of chasing the kids around and grocery shopping.

The kids have also gotten in on the action by having run a couple of kids' races at races I've done.  I think they're both really liking it, and I am hoping that I can get Ethel to join me in a 5K some time next year.  Fred is taking t-ball this summer, and at summer camp I enrolled Ethel in swimming lessons, so they certainly aren't letting the grass grow under their feet this summer. 

I don't consider myself a 'blogger', per se.  I don't do it for a living, I don't write articles about hard-hitting social issues, and I don't have unending wisdom to share and make money from.  I started to blog to unload my thoughts in a media that wouldn't require a translator to decipher my horrific hand writing in a simple journal.  The conclusion of Mommy's Project 52 doesn't bring my blogging to an end, no way.  I feel like it helped me get in the routing of writing more regularly, and I look forward to the next 52 weeks, hoping to post at least weekly, if not more often! 

Thanks to Robin for putting this project together and bringing together those of us who participated.  I have enjoyed the activity, and following new bloggers and their families and adventures.  Through this process, I've met other moms, other runners, other people with a variety of common interests.  Thanks, Robin, this has been loads of fun!!

Mommy's Project 52:51 Responsible

I have started this entry a thousand times. OK, not really, more like 15. Truth is, I keep trying to write about being responsible, but, my responsibilities keep getting in the way. Kids Work Laundry Dishes Blog Yes, the blog is low on the list, as it should be given all the other things I am responsible for. And all those other things make it really hard sometimes to keep up the blog. I've really enjoyed Mommy's Project 52, and it's allowed me to keep this thing active, while giving me things to write about when I normally wouldn't have taken the time. I'd write more, but, I have to go be responsible for two kids and my work, which are currently competing for my undivided attention.

Mommy's Project 52:50 Forgetful

Nobody says it like Maxine...

Mommy's Project 52:49 Sad

Last This week's subject for Mommy's Project 52 is "Sad".  I have always been hesitant to blog about an aspect of my life which often brings out all my emotions and anger. For some reason, I've always felt like I needed to protect certain people from it, or not let out dirty laundry where everyone can see.  I waver between the part of me that throws caution to the wind and just does things, and the part of me that tries to please everyone and not cause any ripples in the water.  It's a difficult balance most of the time.  I'm ready, though, to throw caution to the wind.

Sad is a parent who tosses their family aside for the flavor of the month.  Sad is a parent who misses out on the incredible children they brought into the world.  Sad is that parent never knowing their grandchildren.  Sad is that parent, because they live their life in a manner that contradicts everything they taught their children when they were young.  Sad is exemplified in this picture.

Harold A. Murtz

That person is my father.  He is the one who could always make me laugh.  His chest is the one I leaned on when I had to put medicine in my ears as a kid.  He is the one I watched funny TV shows with.  He's the one who made us all laugh at dinner.  He is the one who taught me how to change a tire.  He is the one who broke all our hearts for the sake of a good time.  With another woman.

When I was in college, he revealed that he'd been seeing someone for several years, and was essentially done with his marriage to my mom.  He wanted us to be happy for him.  He had a history of such behaviour, which I was unaware of until this time, and this one happened to blow up on all of us.  He said and did horrible things.  He lied.  He was hurtful.  He didn't understand, or care about, our pain.  He left.

We have not spoken since 1999.  He removed himself from the lives of all his friends and family, most notably his only two children.  I believe the last words I had for him began with an 'f', and left my throat raspy, to say the least.  It's been many years since then, and many wounds have healed, but obviously there are some that will always remain open.  At least for me.

In the last two years, there have been two instances where his name has reappeared in my life.  Thanks to the internet and social media, finding people you've lost touch with is a little easier than it was 20 years ago.  Of course, when you don't really want to find or connect with that person, it's also pretty easy to find out who that person knows, and contact them.

In early 2010, I received a phone call from my mom's second husband.  Long story short, his daughter had received a message, via Facebook, from my father.  Seriously?  This woman and I know each other, our mother and father were married, but, there is no intimate connection between us, and at the time, we weren't even connected via Facebook.  So why the hell would he write to her??  It was basically a plea to help him find out more about his two kids, and a request for help connecting with us.  When she attempted to reply to the message, his profile was gone, and she was unable to send a return message.  She couldn't find him on Facebook anywhere, so the issue died in the water as quickly as it arose.

Strike 1

Fast forward to June of 2012.  While at work on a Tuesday, I got an e-mail from a familiar, but most unwelcome, name.  His wife.

Strike 2

She had sent me a message via LinkedIn, the professional networking site that connects business people from all walks of work life.  I admit that I don't use it really, but, have heard from some of my connections when they navigate the difficult waters of job searching.  The most activity I get on LinkedIn is when someone requests a connection to me on the site.  Needless to say, I was shocked to see her name in my inbox.

Her message was short and simple (as I view her, but that's the only personal editorial I'll include here): "I would like very much to bring you and your dad together, if you are interested. Let me know what I can do to facilitate that.".  Hm.

In a period of about 24 hours, my mind raced and raced, not knowing what to make of this whole thing.  My first reaction was to reply and be brutally honest with something like, "Are you f-ing kidding me?  What, is he dying?".  I did my best to calm down quickly and collect the thoughts I could reach and try to sort them out.  I decided to sleep on it and give it a few days to sink in and really figure out what I wanted to do.

My decision was to ignore the message.  Just this morning, I clicked "ignore" on the invitation, a step which I hope will help me put the name and message behind me.  My reasons for this are many, but quite simply I feel that if my father really wants to reach out to me, he can do so himself.  If he still needs to rely on this woman to do his communicating, as he did throughout his divorce from my mom, then he is still the coward who didn't fight for a relationship with his daughters.  Plain and simple, he isn't helping matters, he's simply muddying the waters.

Strike 3

I am well past the pain, the sting of the open wounds, and the anger no longer surfaces every time I think about what happened.  I mourned the loss of my father years ago, and hope my children never know such pain in their lives.  I know that the father I used to know would enjoy every last second he could get with my children, and it's sad to know he'll never have that chance.

In the end, it's he who has lost the most.  It makes me sad to think that a man would leave his family behind the way he did, missing out on the important milestones that a parent looks forward to in their childrens' lives.  I have thought about what I want of things if he ever contacts me directly, and how I think I might react.  You never know until you're in the situation, but I have tried to consider the possibilities for the future.

The door is unlocked.  I believe it's up to him to open it, and take his chances on what's behind it.

Mommy's Project 52:48 Loud

Every summer I look forward to, and dread, the sound of the cicadas.  It's one true sign that summer is really here.  At first, their din is calming and reassuring.  It isn't long, though, before we struggle to hold conversations outside at night because the sound is almost deafening.  For such useless, irrelevant bugs, they sure as hell are LOUD!

I like to watch TV when I go to bed.  I catch the 9:00 news, maybe some Real Housewives, and if I can stay awake long enough, maybe some Tonight Show.  In the winter, it's not a problem for me to hear the TV.  I do have Tinnitus, though, and when it's bad, I do have to turn the volume up a smidge.

In the summer, I like to keep the windows open as much as I can, especially at night.  I prefer fresh air to the air conditioning when it's not super humid and temps are below 90.  I keep a fan in the window to bring in the overnight cool air, and it feels so good to sleep in a room that's got that little bit of summer night chill.

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The fan offers some nice white noise, sometimes drowning out the cicadas, sometimes just adding another layer of noise.  Thus, the TV volume must go up.  The kids have music playing in each of their rooms at night, adding yet another layer of sound.  Seems that by the time I get settled in bed, I've got the TV volume so high, I have trouble falling asleep because it's blaring at me!  If I'm having a particularly bad spell with the Tinnitus, that's it!

There are so many sounds of summer that I look forward to every year, like lawn mowers, cicadas, sprinklers, and kids outside playing.  Sometimes, though, when you put them all together, it's really LOUD!

Mommy's Project 52:46 Beautiful

“Youth is happy because it has the capacity to see beauty. Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.”
― Franz Kafka

 The other day while we were at the dentist, while Ethel obediently opened, closed, smiled, turned this way or that, and sat still in the chair for her cleaning, my son was walking around playing with his car.  One would have thought he was in another world the way he carried on making noises and walking aimlessly.  

I believe this was one of my lucky days when I had the luxury of a shower, which is not all too common on the days I work from home.  I'd let my hair air dry, could feel a few awesome pimples starting to surface, and was limping from the pain in my hip (another entry altogether right there).  Needless to say, in the frenzy of trying to get the kids out of the house, make sure my work was not left undone, and make it to the appointment on time, I really hadn't done much to bolster my appearance.  I don't have to have make up on before leaving the house.  I'm lucky we're all dressed, forget make up.  Vanity is not at the top of my list.

Perhaps that's where Ethel gets her sense of style.

As I stood in the dental exam room with Luke wandering in and out with his car, suddenly all his sounds stopped.  He stopped moving.  He turned and looked at his sister.  He turned and looked at me.  The thoughts in his head were swimming around in his head, and I could almost see the wheels turning up there as he turned from his sister to me.

I love you, Mommy.

You're beautiful.

{insert cute grin, tilted head, and shy shoulder turn}

Both kids are sensitive and emotional in vastly different ways.  Fred is still snuggly and needs hugs and kisses for reassurance and comfort.  Ethel simply has outbursts when she's exhausted.  I think she's secretly a teenager and somehow I lost about 6 years of time to a few boxes of wine.  Either way, this statement from Fred is something I hear from him rather often, and it always makes me feel good.

Seeing beauty through the eyes of a child is so refreshing and truly something that we adults can learn from.  Fred thinks I'm beautiful (or he just pooped in his pants and is trying to butter me up) even as I stand in a dental office with bad lighting, messy hair, and no make up.  Kids have a fresh perspective.

He did not tell me I was beautiful on this
hot day after a race

One of the things I love most about kids is how they can make you feel beautiful, even when you're not feeling beautiful.  My son is well versed in making Mommy feel beautiful.

Mommy's Project 52:45 Thankful

The many blessings for which I am thankful...

My husband, who has the hardest job in
the world, being my husband

My daughter, who is growing up
faster than I can keep up

My son, always my baby boy

My mom, who is always there for me

Mommy's Project 52:44 Sweet

Sweet is the smell of puppy breath.
Sweet is the smell of a newborn baby after their first bath.
Sweet is my son's face when he masters a task he's been practicing.
Sweet is my daughter's voice when she says she loves me at bed time.
Sweet is the taste of chocolate milk after a long, hard run.
Sweet is the card my husband gave me for Mother's Day.
Sweet is a good glass of white wine on a hot summer day.
Sweet is the way the cat looks at me when she snuggles with me in bed on Saturday morning.
Sweet is my husband doing the dishes every night after dinner so that I don't have to do them after we get the kids to bed.
Sweet is getting a top 3 finish in your age division in a race.
Sweet is anything made of chocolate.
Sweet is when my daughter goes the extra mile and cleans her room because she misses me when I'm not home.
Sweet is when my son is excited to show me that he just finished a puzzle he's been working on all morning.
Sweet is Almond Joy coffee creamer.  Trust me.  It's good.
Sweet is when my husband massages my back after I run.
Sweet is the kids asking me if my leg feels all better.

Sweet is this life I have, with this family, in this house.
Sweet is the feeling of knowing you are loved.
Sweet is loving what you have.
Sweet is having what you love.

Sweet is.....pretty sweet.

Mommy's Project 52:43 Speaking

If there is one thing that I can think of which I would change about myself, it's the sound of my voice.  Honestly, I can't stand to hear myself speak.  Do you like the sound of your own voice?  Ugh, it's one thing that drives me batty, and I don't know how others can stand to listen to me!

My daughter, Ethel, has always been quite verbal.  I remember being so excited when she started to babble, then make word sounds, then say words, then sentences, and the whole progression until she was full-out talking.  It wasn't long, though, before I was thinking, "If only there was a pause or mute feature on kids".  Seriously, once they start they just don't seem to stop.  Until you ask them, "Who dumped that plant in the living room?" or "Why did you throw your dirty diaper in the laundry basket?".  Suddenly, they seem to be silent and you can't get a sound out of them. 

If only they could be silent when you want them to be.

When my son, Fred, was little, everyone around us kept saying, "Oh, I bet you can't wait until he can talk!", to which I replied, "Oh, yes I can!".  Having been through that once we knew just what we were in for, and we knew we were in no real hurry to have two motor mouths barking at us all the time.  We were in no hurry, of course, but it was pretty clear early on that Fred wasn't following in his sister's foot steps when it came to meeting milestones.  Hm, perhaps we should be more anxious for him to start talking.  And crawling.  And walking.  Hm.

Fred had chronic, severe ear infections for a good bit of his first two years.  Finally, after consulting with an ENT, we decided it was time Fred got tubes.  In December, before his 2nd birthday (in March), we took Fred in for the outpatient procedure which would change his ever growing world and open up a whole new one for him.  It wasn't long after the new year began that he began to say words which we could understand, and I heard, "Mommy" clearly in his little voice and it brought tears to my eyes.

Still, if only they could be silent when you want them to be.

Now, our dinners are filled with conversations, anecdotes, new facts learned at school, and stories about who played with whom on the playground, and who had to take their nap next to the teacher.  Often, Hot Dad and I have to play ref and regulate who gets to talk and when because otherwise, Ethel and Fred are both yelling trying to get their story heard first. 

Still, the most beautiful sound is the sound of a child's voice when they say, "I love you, Mommy".
{As long as they say it quietly.}

Mommy's Project 52:42 Sharing

I have started this entry a gazillion times (OK, so four or five).  The obvious topic for a subject like sharing would be my kids sharing their things.  Once I go there, however, my head is filled with their protests and arguments when one of them isn't 'sharing'. 

In the 'adult world', there's the coworker who over-shares, filling you in on her horrible morning dealing with an attack of IBS.  Thanks for sharing, honey, but, maybe you should get the clue that your body just doesn't like Mexican food as much as you would like it to.

Who can forget the lovely people you encounter when you're out and your kids are not minding their P's and Q's, and all the lovely advice, direction, and judgement they love to share with you.  Because what better time for a stranger to tell you "how it should be done" than when your four year old is flailing on the floor like a fish out of water because you asked her to hold your hand in the store.

Naturally, we share germs by sneezing, breathing, touching, and generally existing. 

My favorite kind of sharing, however, is when I can sit with my seven year old, Ethel, and she tells me about something she did at school, or a conversation she had with a friend.  Sometimes she has something more serious to tell me, sometimes it's about the kid in class who farted in art.  Whatever she has to tell me at these times, I sit in amazement that I'm actually having a conversation with my first born.  I can tell her stories about my day or things that happened to me when I was her age.  Sometimes we talk about my parents, her grandparents, or I share memories with her about times, people, and events in my past.


It's not sharing a toy, a hair bow, or my favorite sweater.  To me, memories and stories are some of the most important things to share.  And I love to share those with my kids.

Mommy's Project 52:41 Entertaining

For Mother's Day, Ethel's class put on an afternoon performance of three short plays, and two pieces of 'choral speaking'.  In each of the three stories, including The Ugly Duckling, there was a narrator or two, and several kids acted out the plays.  It was adorable!  Ethel was Narrator 1 in The Ugly Duckling.  I have to admit, I got a little choked up seeing all the kids acting before all the parents.  It was exciting to watch, as the performance had two purposes; A) to celebrate Mother's Day; B) as exhibition of the progress all the kids have made in their reading during first grade.  

It is so meaningful that K's teacher arranged for this performance, as we got first-hand evidence of the work the kids have been putting in all year.  The reading we do each night, the work they do during class, and the practice they put in to do these plays was right there before us.

Some of the kids really got into it, exaggerating their lines or their actions, bringing well deserved laughter from the audience.  Others focused and read their lines, their concentration written all over their face.   Ethel was a good narrator, demanding silence from the audience with her muted voice   {um, where the hell is that mute at home?}

Here are some pictures from this very entertaining performance.  You have to settle for pictures, as I didn't get any video.

"There once was....", that's my narrator!

 

Paying attention to the performance

Introducing the cast, one by one!

Mommy's Project 52:40 Natural

I'm a week late!  Ack!  Forgive me!

The kids and I planted seeds for all kinds of things a couple years ago and we were quite successful.  I compost, so we used some compost with our potting soil and we had some great things grow.

This year, after a year hiatus, we planted seeds again.  We did so rather late in the seed planting season, but, today we have some great seedlings! 

We planted the following:
Wild flowers, sun flowers, morning glory, zinnia, basil, rosemary, chives, tomato, watermelon, and pumpkin.

We didn't get any pics of the planting session, but, barely a week later, here's what we had!

The wild flowers went wild first

Who needs fancy labels?

I haven't been a good composter this year, I admit.  With this mild winter, I put lots more food scraps in the composter than in past years, but it was cold enough that I wasn't out there turning it throughout the winter.  Thus, we don't have the healthiest pile, but, it is teeming with bugs and good decomposers, so I am sure that by the end of the summer, after I've spent more time tending the compost, we'll have lots more 'black gold' in there.

That said, we didn't use any of our compost this year for our seeds.  We did, though, use regular potting soil and paper egg cartons to sow our seeds.  If I recall correctly, the watermelon and tomato were the last to appear.  The wild flowers were the first, and the pumpkin are the biggest!

The egg cartons are a great way to start seeds.  They're the perfect size, they drain well, and best of all, they can be planted directly in the dirt when you transplant your seedlings to a larger pot or or outside.  It's a completely natural way to start your seeds without unnecessary waste!

It's been only three weeks and our seedlings got so big, it was definitely time to transplant them into some larger containers.  It's too early to put them outside still, so I just found some larger pots to plant them in. 

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I am really looking forward to spending time one  weekend later this month creating space in our yard and in our outdoor pots for all these wonderful plants. 

Mommy's Project 52:39 Flexible

Mommy's Project entries are a weekly thing that happen on Thursdays.  I have been late a couple times.

 Flexible

Me: Fred, we're having apples and bananas with juice for snack.
Fred: OK.
Me: Wait, we're out of juice, so we'll have water.
Fred: NO! YOU SAID JUICE, I WANT JUICE!

Not flexible

My hamstrings, also not flexible

At work.
Are you busy?  I need help getting this project done and it's due tomorrow.
Sure, I can help.

Flexible

Can we reschedule our play date for another day?  One of the kids is sick.
Sure!  Let's try next weekend.
Thanks!

Flexible.

I don't have the mental bandwidth to discuss whether I find myself to be a flexible person or not.  At least not with respect to flying by the seat of my pants vs being unable to change my plans as needs and circumstances change.  The world is a dynamic place, and everyone has to have some flexibility to some degree.  Even Fred.  Even when we're out of juice.  All I can say is that as a parent, the only thing you can count on is having to change plans at the drop of a hat.  And kids puking and pooping.  But that's not the point here.

Not only do I find myself in the midst of what some call adulthood, but I find my body mixed up in the whole mess, too.  I think my body decided to anticipate turning 40 well in advance so that by the time that happens (September, start shopping now), my mind would catch up.  Likelihood of this happening, slim.

Through physical therapy, I've discovered limited range of motion (lateral) in my right hip, my back is nearly stiff as a board, and it can take me several minutes to 'warm up' first thing in the morning or after sitting down for any length of time.  Honestly, I can't wait until I'm fully back running and I can get these things all ironed out.  Or at least get out of bed and not look like an 80-year old hobbling to the bathroom.

What - the - hell - ??

I didn't get a chance this week to spend much time putting a real, though provoking, laughter inducing, or meaningful entry about 'flexible'.  You'll have to deal with what you got.

Thanks for being flexible.

Mommy's Project 52:38 Emotional

I know I've been late on getting these Thursday entries in on, well, Thursdays.  I'm doing my best to get my act in gear, I promise!  I've been busy with the kids, physical therapy, and trying to be as present while I'm home as I possibly can be.  We agreed, as a family, to limit our screen time during the week, and it's been really nice to spend time together without someone's face stuck in a device or glued to a TV.

Being a mom, I've found that the highs and lows of every day life are much higher and lower than they were before I had kids.  I mean, there is nothing that can compare with the joy of seeing your child beam with pride when they master the task of putting on their own socks, or writing their name for the first time.   Conversely, what mom doesn't know the heartbreak we feel when we see our kids fall and scrape their knees, bang their head on a sharp corner, or when they are sick and miserable.  We can be happy, sad, angry, and frustrated all in one moment when it comes to being a mom.  Talk about being pulled in a million directions, literally!

I sort of expected to be more emotional after having kids, especially in those first few months as my body and mind adjusted to being a mother.  I figured that I had laid the foundation for moodiness with the help of PMS, and to be honest, the first few months after the kids arrived were just like prolonged states of PMS.  Post partum life added an extra layer to the whole mess by adding lack of sleep, which messes with one's head in it's own unique way.

After compounding the peaks and valleys of motherhood over a few years, I found myself in need of a release, a way to find my identity.  That is when I turned to running.  I still am not a huge distance runner, and in some ways that's a good thing.  I fear that once I'm able to run 80 miles, I might just run those 80 miles away from home and never go back!  OK not really, but running is one of the ways I get away from the madness at home, and there are times when running and not stopping is really a tempting idea.  Come on, who hasn't wanted to run away from home once in a while?

 One of the results of running I wasn't expecting was the leveling out of my moods, and an increase in my ability to face challenging situations with a level head.  Don't get me wrong, I yell, and I'm not ashamed to admit that.  After a good run, though, I truly feel like I can do anything, and I don't dread the day ahead of me.  I walk in the door and am ready to tackle the whining, demands, and high level of energy that the kids throw my way.  The biggest thing is that it doesn't defeat me like it used to.

Something that took me entirely by surprise was the range of feelings and emotions I felt during my first half marathon.  Overall, I was thrilled as I ran the whole 13.1 miles, and at the end I broke down in tears of joy.  I didn't know what was happening to me, but, I cried as I absorbed the last two hours and what I'd just done.  It was crazy!  I was happy, sore, and surprised all at the same time, and it literally brought me to tears!


All of this isn't to say that I'm all smiles and giggles all the time.  I am subject to road rage, ire, and simple frustration.  I have a hot temper, to say the least.  Unfortunately, you don't want to be on the receiving end when something gets me angry.  I am a mixture of extremes.  I've learned over the years how to manage those extremes, though, through being mindful of situations and remembering the one thing that has stuck in my mind since I heard it first -

You can't control what others do or say, you can only control your own reactions.

Mommy's Project 52:37 Pretending

Speaking of 'pretending', let's pretend this entry was on time, shall we?  :)

I pretend I'm a good cook.  I pretend I'm interested in every single story my kids tell me.  I pretend I'm a good house keeper.  OK, you're right, I don't even pretend to be that!

So pretending is something we all do, not just our kids.  Granted, the kids are much better at it than we adults, but let's be honest, who hasn't pretended to be happy for their friend who just got engaged to a total jerk?  Or pretended we weren't bothered by something our spouse/SO has done or said?  Or pretended we don't mind taking out the trash?  I thought so.

My kids pretend like it's their jobs.  As a parent, pretending is my job!  Honestly, though, they are a joy and I love their imaginations and all the wonderful adventures they have together when they use their imaginations.

The ultimate pretend: playing with dolls (Ethel '06)

Hot Dad pretending to be asleep (Easter morn '12)

Doodle, pretending to be OK with the St. Patrick's Day
crown Ethel made her

Fred, pretending his cars are doing a car show

Time to come out and admit it, you pretend, too.  Come on, everybody's doing it.

Mommy's Project 52:36 Colorful

Colorful:
Rainbows.
The flowers weeds in my back yard.
The tulips in the front.
The fruits and veggies on my counter.
The toys in the toy boxes.
The socks my daughter wears.
The eggs we will color for Easter.
The rosy cheeks on my kids' faces in the winter.
The blue eyes of my daughter, the brown eyes of my son.
My language when driving during the full moon.

Easter eggs

A bright sunny day

The magic of the lights on the Christmas tree

The 4th of July

The polish on our toe nails

Mommy's Project 52:35 Smelly

I have kids.  I'm a runner.  I have cats.  I know smelly when I come across it.  There's smelly good and smelly bad.  I am an avid candle burner because of the smelly that happens in this house.

smelly good

Bamboo Mist; Partylite reed diffuser
(I highly recommend this, BTW)

Vacation; on the water; a glass of wine

Candles a plenty! 
Yes, I need an intervention

smelly gross

Come on, like you don't know what
I'm referring to

Post-workout or run, nothing smells like
your gym clothes

Litter boxes.  You get this picture instead of the real
nasty thing

Mommy's Project 52:34 Outdoors

Oh Mr. Sun, sun, Mr. Golden Sun,
please shine down on me!

Spring 2012 is already setting records here in Chicago, and all over the US.  Let me say, though, poor Atlanta!!  I cannot imagine being able to sweep the pollen off the driveway or street.  That is simply insane.  Back here in Chicago, though, I can't remember ever welcoming the first day of spring in shorts and a t-shirt and 80 degrees.  It's truly amazing!  I'll take it, though, because this time last year we were still in a thousand layers and expecting snow just about every other day.

I haven't been able to run, aside from my awesome Alter-G time the other day, in almost two months.  Of all the years to get injured, I got injured this year.  The year the weather is warm early, we haven't needed heavy running gear in January and February, and I could have already debuted my running skirt without running tights underneath it.  Thankfully, summer follows spring and I have plenty of time to rock that thing. 

I am not a treadmill person and I am not a fan of the hamster wheel (indoor track).  I have always run outside.  I like the feeling of being outside and breathing fresh air instead of recirculated, sweaty, smelly air.  I like having scenery that changes as I run rather than a digital display and TV screen.  I like not having to dodge mall casual walkers, flatulating geriatric day passes, and over perfumed soccer moms trying to pretend they're 'running'.

Running outside has expanded my familiarity with the area I live in.  I've explored neighborhoods I never knew existed, and found short cuts I can navigate when traffic sucks on the way home from work.  I've found new parks to take the kids to, and I know exactly how far the library is from my house.  Not sure why that's important.  Still, I know it because I ran it.  I didn't just look at the odometer on my dash.  I ran it. 

I've also gotten great landscaping ideas from seeing the lawns of houses I pass.  As if I'll ever implement them.  But hey, when you're on a long run and you pass a perfectly manicured lawn, you somehow devise a plan that gets your own yard in the same condition and it works out perfectly.  Until you get home and tell your husband, who looks at you like you have three heads.

I digress.

Even in the bitter cold of winter, there is no comparison to the feeling of fresh air.  Not only that, but the exposure to sun is second to none when it comes to lifting your mood.  Vitamin D is an essential nutrient that is good for mood elevation, breast health, and when combined with Calcium, supports bone and joint health.  The sun is one great, free source of D that can help us even in winter.  Just being outside even on a cloudy day can help give us a boost that we can't get from just sitting around watching TV.

You just can't beat running outside for its overall health benefits,both physically and mentally.  I am not a doctor, of course, but my evidence of this is as follows:

• I am happier when I'm running regularly.
• I get more accomplished in a day or a week when I am running regularly.  I can do anything after a great run.  I am Super Woman.
• I have improved my eating habits as a result of running.  I fuel my body as it should be to keep up my activity level.
• I've lost some weight.
• I drink less {alcohol}.  OK, I admit that wine is still essentially a food group for me, but, I drink it less, and less often, when I have early morning runs to look forward to the next morning.
• I have not needed my therapist. 

I see a different person in myself since I started running, and for the last two months that I've been sidelined I have noticed myself feeling more anxious, edgy, and out of sorts.  We have been fortunate to have such a mild end to winter and warm beginning of spring.  I've been able to get outside with the kids to enjoy the warmth and sunshine that we never see this early in the year.  For Fred, born in March, he got super lucky this year.  He got a bike from his Nani, and we originally worried that he wouldn't get to ride it until some time in June.  He got lucky, though, and has been able to ride it outside since the weekend after his birthday! 

You don't have to run to enjoy time outside.  A couple of moms I know from my daughter's school started walking outside every morning, and have been doing so for about a month or so now.  They have each noticed their moods improve and they've each lost some weight.  I see people out on bikes almost every day, another great way to enjoy some time outside and couple it with some exercise.  Even if you just take a walk around the block with your kid(s), you're getting out and getting off the couch to soak in the beauty of the outdoors. 

Enjoy the spring weather, and get yourself outside!!