I was pretty tired as I departed for my time at Panera this week. I spent the bulk of Saturday scrapbooking with friends, and got home some time around midnight. I knew that this would be one morning when coffee would be a must.
When I got to Panera, the parking lot wasn't any more crowded than I'm used to, but inside was a different story. Sure, I'd gotten a bit of a late start, about half an hour later than my normal time, but I don't think my timing had anything to do with how crowded it was. Just a few different groups of people this morning. The first thing I noticed was that one of the tall tables by the front window was hosting a group of ladies out for morning fare. I could see them as I walked from my car. They were having a great time catching up and telling stories, I could tell. As I entered the restaurant, I tried to judge the best spot to sit, given how crowded it was. Not an easy choice. I didn't want to sit in an isolated booth, and the comfy leather chairs in the corner were taken. I could have gone all the way to the back to one of the little 2-seater tables, but, prefer to be where the action is. Luckily, the carpeted area near the front wasn't full, and the table where the man in the yellow sweater had been before was empty. Either I'd missed the man in the yellow sweater, or I got there first. Either way, it didn't take me long to decide on that small table against the half wall. Should I sit first, then order? Nah, I'm not that bold yet. I ordered first. Just a coffee for now. I ordered my standard grande, not choosing, again, to ask about the mug. Just not important this time. One thing I did learn is that there is, indeed, a hole in the counter for trash! I'd been taking my empty sugar packets and stirrers over to the trash bins by the door all this time, and lo and behold, there's a trash bin right there between the sugar holder and the napkin dispenser. I'm really getting the hang of this, I think!
Aside from the ladies at the tall table, the two gentlemen who'd sat there two weeks ago were on the bench seats against the wall. I think they recognized me, and we exchanged brief eye contact and a quick nod. I sat facing the door, so my back was to them. I hoped they didn't mind.
I brought Twilight with me this time, hoping for some mindless reading that wouldn't make me feel too frustrated when having to read passages over and over again. I haven't read any of my Healthy Selfishness in just over a week, but, hope to get back on that wagon soon. I got my coat off and it hung perfectly on the back of my chair, just barely touching the floor. One thing I can't stand is getting up and tripping over my coat when it pools on the floor. I settled in with my coffee and my book, and took a quick look around.
Not long after I seated myself, the ladies at the tall table finished up. I could tell they didn't just roll out of bed, this was something they'd planned to do and they dressed for the occaision. Well, most of them. None were dressed in Old Navy snowman fleece pants (I have the same ones, that's how I know) and flip flops like one gal that I saw stroll in some time later. Most were in jeans, nice sweaters, that kind of thing. One lady was wearing yoga pants, they were cute. Until she turned and faced my direction. Please explain to me why you would put rhinestones on a pair of yoga pants. Seriously. An intricate flowery or paisley pattern in rhinestones rested just below her hip, high on her thigh. Honestly, she looked casual and comfortable, but, not sloppy, but the rhinestones did nothing for the yoga pants. If you wanna dress up your yoga pants, I'm thinkin' that's not the way to go. But what do I know, I showed up my first week there in a an old sweatshirt, hand me down jeans, and 8 year old shoes.
I was too comfy in my chair to try to relocate myself once the ladies vacated the tall table. Plus, with there being that many people in the restaurant, I did feel like I'd be hogging space without necessity since there's just one of me, and the tall table seats at least six. So I stayed parked at my table along the half wall.
Shortly after I was all situated, I noticed a woman, likely in her late 50's, roaming around the carpeted area looking for a spot to park. I thought, at first, that she would be meeting someone because she rearranged the four chairs around one of the tables where she'd placed a book and her keys. Then she went over by the counter, then came right back and collected her things from that table. As she breezed by me, she said, very kindly and with a smile, "You're in my favorite spot". I must have really thrown her for a loop! I lightly replied, "I beat you to it, I guess", to which she responded, "Oh, no, that's OK, there's another fine seat right here", and she perched at the table behind me. I guess the man in the yellow sweater was holding a coveted spot, and now it was I in the coveted spot. Very nice.
While we were exchanging our quips about my table, the Alaska lady from a couple weeks ago arrived. She was walking with a pronounced limp, and I don't recall her having that last time I saw her. You may recall that she is one of the three ladies who know the pulled back guy. She had a different bag with her today, sporting a blue Le SportSac straight out of the 80's. Very cute, but, it's been years since I've seen a Le SportSac. She put her things down, went and ordered, and retured to her table with a friendly nod in my direction before she sat with her back to my table. As she sat down, she greeted the two gentlemen on the bench seats, addressing them by name. I hadn't noticed in the past that they'd ever greeted each other.
The three ladies were only two again this week, but there was no mention of the third lady when number two arrived. The second lady also mentioned the Le SportSac when she noticed her friend's bag, agreeing that it was a cute little bag. Before I knew it, the two ladies were flitting from one topic to another in conversation, and suddenly I heard the first lady shuffling a deck of cards. I turned slightly to see a cribbage board on the table between the two ladies. As they began to play they also discussed some online game that they both play, and they each shared their strategies for playing the game. Then the second lady went and ordered her bagel, and upon her return commented on how Wendy, one of the girls behind the counter, toasts the bagels perfectly every time. Then the two ladies giggled about how wonderful it is to be regulars. Ah, they're officially regulars. I wonder when I will qualify as a regular. :)
Well, I didn't really come alone, I did bring Bella and her twisted crew from Forks. She recently returned from a trip to the beach with some friends, and had a terrible dream about a friend becoming a wolf. I have to admit that I'm enjoying the book, and I think it's a good thing that it's such an easy read. Riveting, no, but, easy to read and allows me to escape from time to time. I am clearly not going to be decorating my home with Twilight garb, but, I can see myself reading the series by the end of 2010. I wish I could say that I can see myself joining a team as so many other readers of Twilight have, but, that's not really how I roll. Anyway, I admit to having been a bit envious as Bella was able to lay out and fall asleep on the lawn on one of the few sunny days where she lives. I wish I could sit still for that long.
Back at Panera, I filled quite a bit of time getting lost in Twilight, despite having to read and reread passages as I progressed in the story. I wasn't quite as distracted as I was two weeks ago, but, I did have a low level of difficulty keeping focused on the book. I guess it didn't help to be hearing the bagel cutter just over the wall from me, or the shuffling of cards at the table next to me.
I wondered about the pulled back guy when I realized it was almost my time to head out, and he still hadn't arrived. The two ladies had talked about all kinds of things, including the second lady's husband who is apparently nearly blind and seeking treatment for his diminishing eye sight. Apparently his failing sight is one of many health related dramas in her family along with a chest cold she's been dealing with, among other things. Not to disappoint, the pulled back guy finally arrived. I suddenly felt like a part of their small group as he chose a table next to the ladies, nodding in my direction and flashing a friendly smile as he approached the table he chose. He's fast. He had his laptop out, coat off, and was all booted up before I could even turn to see where he'd sat down. He's got a cool little net book, and I was almost going to ask him how he likes it but I'm not ready to directly engage any of the regulars just yet. He and the second lady quickly discovered that they have this chest cold in common, and pulled back guy tried to garner some credit for spreading it since he's been wrestling with it since the beginning of the year. Ah, the pleasantries that are exchanged over coffee.
I was soon getting a little bored with Bella and figured that since my neighbors had so much chatting to do, and cribbage to play that it was time for me to exit the building. Joking that I must have been leaving because of them, the second lady and pulled back guy made a couple funny quips about my departure being due to something they said, to which I smiled and gently commented that it was just my time to head home. We all greeted each other a good day, and I headed to the table where I would refill my coffee.
At the table, there was a girl in a bright pink jacket. You know, it's not very often that someone wears a bright color around here, so this was a welcome sight to see. It's true, the fashions around this area are drab, mostly gray, black, brown, and muted colors when they are worn. This girl was bold enough to splash the scene with a vibrant, almost neon, pink. I complimented her and told her what a pretty color her jacket was, even though I really don't like pink. It was the fact that she wore such a fun, bright color that really made the impression on me. She thanked me, we refilled our coffees, and I left the building.
On the way home, I stopped at JoAnn Fabrics to pick up some additional prizes for the prize bag that I've compiled for Ethel. She has done an amazing job with her responsibility chart, and I can't tell you how much better things are since we've had the chart. We rarely argue about getting things done, and she actually enjoys reaching all the goals we set forth for her each week. For something so simple, it's made a huge impact in our house. I can't wait to get one for Fred.
We had a busy rest of the day after I returned home. Ethel had a birthday party in the afternoon, then we had dinner at a family friend's house in the evening. All in all it was a great day, despite the lack of sunshine and impending snow storm. Any day spent with family and good friends is a great day in my book.
Showing posts with label twilight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label twilight. Show all posts
Monday, February 22, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Me time, week 2
Despite a late start, I returned this morning to the local Panera to rejoin Bella as she acclimated to life in Forks and her new high school. While I was there, I studied some reading material my new friend gave me and took notes like she asked me to, trying to reach inside myself to grasp the full meaning of the words on these copied pages. Being there a little later than last week, I wasn't sure what kind of seats would be available to choose from. I started to feel some anxiety about the potential that there would be no seats. Before I knew it, though, I had ordered by coffee and turned to find that the two big comfy chairs in the corner were both empty. Without thinking twice, I claimed one of the soft, leather chairs which afforded me a full view of the back 3/4 of the restaurant, and an partial view of the counter where orders are placed.
Being no fashionista, I was first taken by the three young people in front of me in line. They looked to be in their mid-20's, young, confident, and probably fresh out of a morning church service. Perhaps not, though, given that the girl had a nicely fitting peacoat, which from behind only revealed the deep red fishnet stockings and snake skin high heels she was wearing. Her blonde curls rested at the top of the collar of the coat. Both of the guys were wearing sport coats, one with a nice new white pair of Adidas, a white dress shirt, and designer tie, the other in what looked like a suit with well worn dress shoes. The one in the suit ordered some bottled drink, and nodded to his cohort in confidence at how well he had ordered this drink, and offered that the guy touch the bottle to confirm that it was properly chilled. After confirming that they were putting all their choices on one tab, they settled up and retreated to their seating of choice.
I nestled into the brown leather chair and read my copied papers, took notes, and tried to absorb what I was learning. All the while, the restaurant was full of life and activity. A hispanic man and his son, who looked to be about 6 or 7, enjoyed some breakfast at a table facing my direction. One of the girls who probably acted as a cashier was on a break, and could easily have passed for a young Juliette Lewis. I kept looking over at her to confirm that it wasn't really Ms. Lewis, and it wasn't long before that was obvious. It seemed that I was in quite a coveted spot, as patrons passed the two brown chairs, turning quickly once they saw me seated in one of them. Sitting in comfortable, close proximity to others was obviously not a popular item on the menu this morning.
Suddenly, a woman breezed by me, and had I not taken a second look, I would have thought that she had chinchillas grasping her ankles, fighting for freedom. I'm all about warm boots, but these things looked like they were doing the walking for her. As she removed her coat and laid it on the bench seat she'd chosen, she revealed that she was probably returning from, or planning to go to, the gym. A tight, off the shoulder top offered a peak at a bright, thin strapped sports bra, and her black yoga pants offered a bit of explanation as to why the gym would have been a better choice than the breakfast she'd ordered here. Again, a mean thought, and I struck it from my mind. I digress.
As Bella found herself confronted, again, by Edward in a most confrontational fashion, a young mother entered the restaurant and perched her baby's carrier/car seat on the floor beside her. It wasn't long after her friend arrived that I learned that the little baby girl was 3 months old, wears size 6 months clothes, and there had been some family strife at the recent baptism of said baby. I lost the conversation when a 30-something couple arrived and sat at a table between myself and the young mother, encouraging their young son, probably about 2 or 3 years old, to try the breakfast quiche they were each enjoying. After his initial protests, he gave in, and his mom's voice expressed her obvious excitement that he'd ventured into this new territory of the quiche.
As I sat in the brown leather chair, I began to reel as I thought about all the things I needed to get done today, our being short of money, and felt guilty about the $2 and change which I'd spent on my coffee. Finances have been a big stressor for me recently, and knowing that there were only a few dollars left in my hidden jar of cash really adds to that stress.
A group of friends and I have challenged each other to get ahead of our Christmas shopping for 2010, hoping to purchase one gift each month until the holiday arrives (or more, if possible). I had grabbed some money this morning for my coffee, and for some possible gifts off the clearance tables at the Barnes and Nobel next door. Trying to purge the guilt from my mind, I headed to B&N and found the clearance table. The clearance tags had obviously done some good in the past 7 days, as the selection was greatly diminished, but, still offered some suitable choices.
As the table said the goods on it are now at 75% off, I chose two small puzzles which were reduced to $1.98 each, seeing them as stocking stuffers for Ethel and Fred. I let go of my guilt and took them to the register, feeling happy when I got change back from my $5 bill.
Knowing I was going home with two gifts, as well as some money still in my pocket helped ease my guilt. I am now two gifts ahead for this year's holiday season.
I took my coffee, my book, my stocking stuffers, and headed home. Me time accomplished, gifts purchased, money in my pocket. Not too bad for a Sunday morning of me time.
Being no fashionista, I was first taken by the three young people in front of me in line. They looked to be in their mid-20's, young, confident, and probably fresh out of a morning church service. Perhaps not, though, given that the girl had a nicely fitting peacoat, which from behind only revealed the deep red fishnet stockings and snake skin high heels she was wearing. Her blonde curls rested at the top of the collar of the coat. Both of the guys were wearing sport coats, one with a nice new white pair of Adidas, a white dress shirt, and designer tie, the other in what looked like a suit with well worn dress shoes. The one in the suit ordered some bottled drink, and nodded to his cohort in confidence at how well he had ordered this drink, and offered that the guy touch the bottle to confirm that it was properly chilled. After confirming that they were putting all their choices on one tab, they settled up and retreated to their seating of choice.
I nestled into the brown leather chair and read my copied papers, took notes, and tried to absorb what I was learning. All the while, the restaurant was full of life and activity. A hispanic man and his son, who looked to be about 6 or 7, enjoyed some breakfast at a table facing my direction. One of the girls who probably acted as a cashier was on a break, and could easily have passed for a young Juliette Lewis. I kept looking over at her to confirm that it wasn't really Ms. Lewis, and it wasn't long before that was obvious. It seemed that I was in quite a coveted spot, as patrons passed the two brown chairs, turning quickly once they saw me seated in one of them. Sitting in comfortable, close proximity to others was obviously not a popular item on the menu this morning.
Suddenly, a woman breezed by me, and had I not taken a second look, I would have thought that she had chinchillas grasping her ankles, fighting for freedom. I'm all about warm boots, but these things looked like they were doing the walking for her. As she removed her coat and laid it on the bench seat she'd chosen, she revealed that she was probably returning from, or planning to go to, the gym. A tight, off the shoulder top offered a peak at a bright, thin strapped sports bra, and her black yoga pants offered a bit of explanation as to why the gym would have been a better choice than the breakfast she'd ordered here. Again, a mean thought, and I struck it from my mind. I digress.
As Bella found herself confronted, again, by Edward in a most confrontational fashion, a young mother entered the restaurant and perched her baby's carrier/car seat on the floor beside her. It wasn't long after her friend arrived that I learned that the little baby girl was 3 months old, wears size 6 months clothes, and there had been some family strife at the recent baptism of said baby. I lost the conversation when a 30-something couple arrived and sat at a table between myself and the young mother, encouraging their young son, probably about 2 or 3 years old, to try the breakfast quiche they were each enjoying. After his initial protests, he gave in, and his mom's voice expressed her obvious excitement that he'd ventured into this new territory of the quiche.
As I sat in the brown leather chair, I began to reel as I thought about all the things I needed to get done today, our being short of money, and felt guilty about the $2 and change which I'd spent on my coffee. Finances have been a big stressor for me recently, and knowing that there were only a few dollars left in my hidden jar of cash really adds to that stress.
A group of friends and I have challenged each other to get ahead of our Christmas shopping for 2010, hoping to purchase one gift each month until the holiday arrives (or more, if possible). I had grabbed some money this morning for my coffee, and for some possible gifts off the clearance tables at the Barnes and Nobel next door. Trying to purge the guilt from my mind, I headed to B&N and found the clearance table. The clearance tags had obviously done some good in the past 7 days, as the selection was greatly diminished, but, still offered some suitable choices.
As the table said the goods on it are now at 75% off, I chose two small puzzles which were reduced to $1.98 each, seeing them as stocking stuffers for Ethel and Fred. I let go of my guilt and took them to the register, feeling happy when I got change back from my $5 bill.
Knowing I was going home with two gifts, as well as some money still in my pocket helped ease my guilt. I am now two gifts ahead for this year's holiday season.
I took my coffee, my book, my stocking stuffers, and headed home. Me time accomplished, gifts purchased, money in my pocket. Not too bad for a Sunday morning of me time.
Monday, January 18, 2010
It's ME time
17 January
Alone time is something that I don’t treat myself to, and hadn’t had any of until this morning. At the urging of a new friend, I’ve been instructed to leave the house once a week and depart from the rigors of life as a mom, if even for a short time. Skeptical, I agreed and began the assignment this morning.
My husband is entirely supportive of my having “me” time. We discussed and agreed on the best, or at least a good, time for me to have this time alone, and Sunday mornings won. For one thing, it’s his day to “wake up with” the kids. Now, I generally am the one who is woken by one or the other monkeys stirring, or coming into our room in the morning. So really it’s his morning to get out of bed with them and begin their day. This morning was a great one, starting at 5:50AM. I was woken from a pretty good sleep to the sounds of, “Daddy….I have bleeder coming out!” coming from the next room. Poor Fred has suffered nose bleeds for a while now, and he had a pretty good one this morning.
I got him settled and cleaned up, laid a towel over the stains on the sheets so that he could lay back down for at least a short time. He rocked with his Daddy for a bit before they agreed that he would just read a book in bed. I, then, laid in bed listening to him turn the pages and talk about the book, and sing whenever it popped into his head. Daddy has that desirable ability to fall back asleep, which he did, so I pulled out my iPod Touch and checked my Facebook page, played a little Scrabble, and tried to pass some time in hopes of being able to drift off again. Nope, didn’t happen.
I think my husband got out of bed some time between 6:30 and 7AM and got the kids dressed and downstairs for breakfast. I, then, got out of bed and hopped on the computer for a bit to look for the hours of some places I’d considered going to this morning during my scheduled alone time. 8AM-10AM is a great time for alone time, but, there isn’t much open at that hour, especially on a Sunday. Book stores (my first choice), closed. Library, closed. This left breakfast places and coffee shops. I don’t want to go somewhere and spend money I don’t really have to spare on breakfast alone, and I don’t want to go spend a ton of money on coffee which I could make myself at home for a fraction of the per cup cost. Yes, finances are tight and if I’m going to treat myself to time without the family regularly, it can’t add up to a small fortune.
OK, so venue chosen, I finally prep myself for public presentation. Well, I basically spruced up enough to allow myself to be seen without looking like a homelss person. Ponytail, contacts in the eyes, jeans and a sweatshirt, and I was all set. Here I go!
I chose a local Panera and grabbed a few dollars from a little jar which I keep spare singles in so I could get a coffee. I’ve been to Paneras over the years, but never alone and just to sit. So I grabbed a book, hoping to get a few pages read if I found a comfy enough spot at the restaurant. See, I guess I still see restaurants as places where you go, you order, you eat, and you leave. The whole coffe house, hang out at Starbucks was big when I was in college, but, that just wasn’t my bag. Plus, I didn’t really start to drink coffee ’til I was a junior in college, and by then I was quite happy with my seat at the library. It was there or the Shoneys out by the highway when we pulled all nighters, but getting a ride off campus wasn’t always the easiest thing to do, and nothing was close to campus.
Anyhow, I was a little nervous, I have to admit. Unlike some people, I’m not that confident in doing things like this alone. I enjoy being with others. On top of that, places like this tend to intimidate me when they make it impossible to order coffee by name. It’s almost like being in a foreign country. Actually, it reminds me of trying to order tea with cream and sugar in New Zealand. I distinctly recall standing in a bakery in Queenstown, NZ trying to figure out how to order a tea with cream and sugar. I had mastered ordering pies after meeting a Kiwi on my flight into Auckland who not only showed me the sights of the city, but, introduced me to the variety of pies found everywhere in the small country. I’m part English, have been a tea drinker all my life, and couldn’t for the life of me figure out this half white, half and black, whatever it was that they called it. I just wanted a tea!!
I digress. My hesitation at ordering coffee in commercial, or even local, coffee places is based on my own insecurity, but, suffice it to say I don’t generally enjoy having to learn how to order something as basic as a coffee. This is one of the reasons I opted for Panera. They offer coffee. And it’s good. And I can refill my cup. Enough said.
As I drove from my house, I felt a little strange. I’m not used to doing for me. This is a common thing among women, among moms. We get so used to doing for others that we lose sight of what it’s like to do for ourselves. I focused on this as I got out of my car. Donned in the only pair of jeans that fit me right now (which were hand me downs), my Eastland shoes my mom got me at least 8 years ago, my husband’s old sweatshirt, I realized how little I’ve done for myself over the years. I can’t even tell you the last time I shopped for myself. Part of this is due to lack of funding for such an operation, but I have always had a hard time spending my money, especially on ME. Ugh, it’s so annoying. Now, I have likely painted a picture of some perfect candidate for the show What Not to Wear, but I assure you it’s not that bad (wait, don’t they all say that???). My point is, I neglect myself, and as I walked into the place, I was glad I had taken on this assignment for me time.
I approached the counter after seeing that they did have some flavoured coffees on tap. Whew. I don’t inherently like the taste of coffee, and I pretty much have a little coffee with my cream and sugar. Then I realized that they have some appealing breakfast options which would not break my small bank (pocket). Another sigh of relief.
I ordered, grabbed my cup, receipt, and square “your order’s ready” contraption and found a booth to sit in. The two comfy arm chairs (yes, only two, grrrr) were taken, so I opted for a booth, figuring I’d move to a table if the place got real busy. Luckily, it didn’t, at least not that I was aware. I say that because, as I’d mentioned, I brought a book. Not just any book, some might say. I brought with me my borrowed copy of Twilight. The rock I live under isn’t big enough to shelter me from the phenom that is this book series. I also am witness to the craze every day in my close-knit online community of moms that I’ve been part of for the better part of my daughter’s life. A coworker of mine read the books and lent them to me on a “return them whenever you’re done” basis. I was an avid reader as a kid until high school when reading was assigned, not just for fun. I think that’s really when I lost my childhood interest in reading. Of course, that’s not to say that I didn’t read an occaisional book for fun, not like I did as a kid. I brought the book with me figuring that I’d look less silly being in a restaurant alone if I had my nose in a book, and if it didn’t hold my interest, I’d leave and find something else to do and somewhere else to go.
So, I entered the world of Twilight this morning. I’m learning about Fords, WA and the strange people that live there. As I sat reading the book, I peered up only a few times, seeing the other patrons order their morning fare and find that just right spot to enjoy it in. Watching people order their food and look for a seat can be entertaining at times. At one point, a younger couple, I’d say in their late 20’s, came in and got their coffees. They looked over the layout of the place, then she took one for the team and roamed the aisle, examining the seating for that just right spot for her and her male companion. It didn’t take her long to come back and shake her head, indicating that nothing in that direction was suitable. I peered out of my booth after they turned the other way and noticed that most of the booths were empty, as were the two-seater round tables further down. I don’t know what criteria they had for their just right spot, but, apparently they weren’t met in that direction. I didn’t bother to see if they stuck it out at the front of the restaurant, I just went back to my book and experienced Bella’s first day at her new high school.
A nice couple in their 40’s or 50’s sat in the booth across the aisle from me with a newspaper and a book. They had coffee and I don’t believe either of them uttered more than a few words the whole time they were there. In fact, at one point I looked in their direction and saw a father daughter team in the same spot. Either I was engrossed in the book or they were really stealth, as were the father and daughter. Hm. The father and daughter were dressed nicely, probably for church or something, so I could tell that they weren’t out just giving mom a break. It was really cute, and you could tell the little girl, probably around 7 or 8, was proud to be out with her Daddy carrying her purse and wearing a pretty skirt with party shoes. Does anyone call them that any more, ‘party shoes’?
I wasn’t expecting the book to read as easily as it does. I’d been told over and over how easy a read it was, but, usually when I hear that it turns out to read like The Oddyssey, anything but what I would call easy. This, though, really is easy and I flew through 60+ pages that I read this morning. Having only gotten through roughly 4 chapters, I will reserve any review of the story itself, but will admit that I’m enjoying it and can envision carving out some time to read it throughout the coming weeks. Not sure it will take me that long, but, my reading time is scarce and once it’s dark outside, an open book is as good as NyQuil for me.
My morning out, alone, was refreshing. As the clock rounded 10:00, I saved my page with a napkin, got my coat on, and topped off my coffee before heading to my car. I wasn’t leaving quite yet, I had one thing I wanted to do first. Barnes and Nobel. At a play date the kids and I went on yesterday, a great responsibility chart was recommended by the hosting mom. This thing is just what I’ve been trying to come up with myself for my kids (and myself). I spent my time on me and now I had to do something that would make me feel better, even if it’s kind of for someone else. I knew these cost around $20, and that’s really all I had on me, so I only was able to buy one today. I’ll get the second in a couple weeks after the next pay day (or I’ll get it online for less!). Honestly, despite the fact that I spent money, it made me feel better to get the chart, knowing that I could begin to apply the responsibilities and impending rewards with Ethel as early as today. This made me feel almost as good as treating myself to me time!
As I left, I felt relaxed, not worried about my day, and actually looking forward to time with my kids and husband. That hasn’t been the case for the past couple months, though. Funny how a mere couple of hours out of the house can recharge me. Even if it’s just for today, I’m happy to have had this time to read, drink coffee, and people watch. I look forward to doing it again next week, and more often as time goes by.
Alone time is something that I don’t treat myself to, and hadn’t had any of until this morning. At the urging of a new friend, I’ve been instructed to leave the house once a week and depart from the rigors of life as a mom, if even for a short time. Skeptical, I agreed and began the assignment this morning.
My husband is entirely supportive of my having “me” time. We discussed and agreed on the best, or at least a good, time for me to have this time alone, and Sunday mornings won. For one thing, it’s his day to “wake up with” the kids. Now, I generally am the one who is woken by one or the other monkeys stirring, or coming into our room in the morning. So really it’s his morning to get out of bed with them and begin their day. This morning was a great one, starting at 5:50AM. I was woken from a pretty good sleep to the sounds of, “Daddy….I have bleeder coming out!” coming from the next room. Poor Fred has suffered nose bleeds for a while now, and he had a pretty good one this morning.
I got him settled and cleaned up, laid a towel over the stains on the sheets so that he could lay back down for at least a short time. He rocked with his Daddy for a bit before they agreed that he would just read a book in bed. I, then, laid in bed listening to him turn the pages and talk about the book, and sing whenever it popped into his head. Daddy has that desirable ability to fall back asleep, which he did, so I pulled out my iPod Touch and checked my Facebook page, played a little Scrabble, and tried to pass some time in hopes of being able to drift off again. Nope, didn’t happen.
I think my husband got out of bed some time between 6:30 and 7AM and got the kids dressed and downstairs for breakfast. I, then, got out of bed and hopped on the computer for a bit to look for the hours of some places I’d considered going to this morning during my scheduled alone time. 8AM-10AM is a great time for alone time, but, there isn’t much open at that hour, especially on a Sunday. Book stores (my first choice), closed. Library, closed. This left breakfast places and coffee shops. I don’t want to go somewhere and spend money I don’t really have to spare on breakfast alone, and I don’t want to go spend a ton of money on coffee which I could make myself at home for a fraction of the per cup cost. Yes, finances are tight and if I’m going to treat myself to time without the family regularly, it can’t add up to a small fortune.
OK, so venue chosen, I finally prep myself for public presentation. Well, I basically spruced up enough to allow myself to be seen without looking like a homelss person. Ponytail, contacts in the eyes, jeans and a sweatshirt, and I was all set. Here I go!
I chose a local Panera and grabbed a few dollars from a little jar which I keep spare singles in so I could get a coffee. I’ve been to Paneras over the years, but never alone and just to sit. So I grabbed a book, hoping to get a few pages read if I found a comfy enough spot at the restaurant. See, I guess I still see restaurants as places where you go, you order, you eat, and you leave. The whole coffe house, hang out at Starbucks was big when I was in college, but, that just wasn’t my bag. Plus, I didn’t really start to drink coffee ’til I was a junior in college, and by then I was quite happy with my seat at the library. It was there or the Shoneys out by the highway when we pulled all nighters, but getting a ride off campus wasn’t always the easiest thing to do, and nothing was close to campus.
Anyhow, I was a little nervous, I have to admit. Unlike some people, I’m not that confident in doing things like this alone. I enjoy being with others. On top of that, places like this tend to intimidate me when they make it impossible to order coffee by name. It’s almost like being in a foreign country. Actually, it reminds me of trying to order tea with cream and sugar in New Zealand. I distinctly recall standing in a bakery in Queenstown, NZ trying to figure out how to order a tea with cream and sugar. I had mastered ordering pies after meeting a Kiwi on my flight into Auckland who not only showed me the sights of the city, but, introduced me to the variety of pies found everywhere in the small country. I’m part English, have been a tea drinker all my life, and couldn’t for the life of me figure out this half white, half and black, whatever it was that they called it. I just wanted a tea!!
I digress. My hesitation at ordering coffee in commercial, or even local, coffee places is based on my own insecurity, but, suffice it to say I don’t generally enjoy having to learn how to order something as basic as a coffee. This is one of the reasons I opted for Panera. They offer coffee. And it’s good. And I can refill my cup. Enough said.
As I drove from my house, I felt a little strange. I’m not used to doing for me. This is a common thing among women, among moms. We get so used to doing for others that we lose sight of what it’s like to do for ourselves. I focused on this as I got out of my car. Donned in the only pair of jeans that fit me right now (which were hand me downs), my Eastland shoes my mom got me at least 8 years ago, my husband’s old sweatshirt, I realized how little I’ve done for myself over the years. I can’t even tell you the last time I shopped for myself. Part of this is due to lack of funding for such an operation, but I have always had a hard time spending my money, especially on ME. Ugh, it’s so annoying. Now, I have likely painted a picture of some perfect candidate for the show What Not to Wear, but I assure you it’s not that bad (wait, don’t they all say that???). My point is, I neglect myself, and as I walked into the place, I was glad I had taken on this assignment for me time.
I approached the counter after seeing that they did have some flavoured coffees on tap. Whew. I don’t inherently like the taste of coffee, and I pretty much have a little coffee with my cream and sugar. Then I realized that they have some appealing breakfast options which would not break my small bank (pocket). Another sigh of relief.
I ordered, grabbed my cup, receipt, and square “your order’s ready” contraption and found a booth to sit in. The two comfy arm chairs (yes, only two, grrrr) were taken, so I opted for a booth, figuring I’d move to a table if the place got real busy. Luckily, it didn’t, at least not that I was aware. I say that because, as I’d mentioned, I brought a book. Not just any book, some might say. I brought with me my borrowed copy of Twilight. The rock I live under isn’t big enough to shelter me from the phenom that is this book series. I also am witness to the craze every day in my close-knit online community of moms that I’ve been part of for the better part of my daughter’s life. A coworker of mine read the books and lent them to me on a “return them whenever you’re done” basis. I was an avid reader as a kid until high school when reading was assigned, not just for fun. I think that’s really when I lost my childhood interest in reading. Of course, that’s not to say that I didn’t read an occaisional book for fun, not like I did as a kid. I brought the book with me figuring that I’d look less silly being in a restaurant alone if I had my nose in a book, and if it didn’t hold my interest, I’d leave and find something else to do and somewhere else to go.
So, I entered the world of Twilight this morning. I’m learning about Fords, WA and the strange people that live there. As I sat reading the book, I peered up only a few times, seeing the other patrons order their morning fare and find that just right spot to enjoy it in. Watching people order their food and look for a seat can be entertaining at times. At one point, a younger couple, I’d say in their late 20’s, came in and got their coffees. They looked over the layout of the place, then she took one for the team and roamed the aisle, examining the seating for that just right spot for her and her male companion. It didn’t take her long to come back and shake her head, indicating that nothing in that direction was suitable. I peered out of my booth after they turned the other way and noticed that most of the booths were empty, as were the two-seater round tables further down. I don’t know what criteria they had for their just right spot, but, apparently they weren’t met in that direction. I didn’t bother to see if they stuck it out at the front of the restaurant, I just went back to my book and experienced Bella’s first day at her new high school.
A nice couple in their 40’s or 50’s sat in the booth across the aisle from me with a newspaper and a book. They had coffee and I don’t believe either of them uttered more than a few words the whole time they were there. In fact, at one point I looked in their direction and saw a father daughter team in the same spot. Either I was engrossed in the book or they were really stealth, as were the father and daughter. Hm. The father and daughter were dressed nicely, probably for church or something, so I could tell that they weren’t out just giving mom a break. It was really cute, and you could tell the little girl, probably around 7 or 8, was proud to be out with her Daddy carrying her purse and wearing a pretty skirt with party shoes. Does anyone call them that any more, ‘party shoes’?
I wasn’t expecting the book to read as easily as it does. I’d been told over and over how easy a read it was, but, usually when I hear that it turns out to read like The Oddyssey, anything but what I would call easy. This, though, really is easy and I flew through 60+ pages that I read this morning. Having only gotten through roughly 4 chapters, I will reserve any review of the story itself, but will admit that I’m enjoying it and can envision carving out some time to read it throughout the coming weeks. Not sure it will take me that long, but, my reading time is scarce and once it’s dark outside, an open book is as good as NyQuil for me.
My morning out, alone, was refreshing. As the clock rounded 10:00, I saved my page with a napkin, got my coat on, and topped off my coffee before heading to my car. I wasn’t leaving quite yet, I had one thing I wanted to do first. Barnes and Nobel. At a play date the kids and I went on yesterday, a great responsibility chart was recommended by the hosting mom. This thing is just what I’ve been trying to come up with myself for my kids (and myself). I spent my time on me and now I had to do something that would make me feel better, even if it’s kind of for someone else. I knew these cost around $20, and that’s really all I had on me, so I only was able to buy one today. I’ll get the second in a couple weeks after the next pay day (or I’ll get it online for less!). Honestly, despite the fact that I spent money, it made me feel better to get the chart, knowing that I could begin to apply the responsibilities and impending rewards with Ethel as early as today. This made me feel almost as good as treating myself to me time!
As I left, I felt relaxed, not worried about my day, and actually looking forward to time with my kids and husband. That hasn’t been the case for the past couple months, though. Funny how a mere couple of hours out of the house can recharge me. Even if it’s just for today, I’m happy to have had this time to read, drink coffee, and people watch. I look forward to doing it again next week, and more often as time goes by.
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