Renewal

{tap, tap, tap....is this thing on?}

I think it's time to stir some creative juices again.

Stay tuned...

The taking down of the trees...

This weekend, we will be finally stripping the house of signs of Christmas until it all reappears in November. For the record, we did unplug the lights outside, and we were NOT the last ones on the block to do so this year.

The holidays are always fun around our house with two cats, two kids, two adults, and two Christmas trees. Sounds like a land-locked Noah's Arc, doesn't it? I have to admit that it's better now than it used to be, but finding ornaments on the floor, or hearing a rustling from the other room while you're eating dinner are two things I could do without at the holidays.

Tasty?

One of the cats, to remain unnamed, ahem, but who has only one eye....likes to lick, climb, and play with the trees. The two eyed cat likes to wrestle and fight with the one eyed cat...particularly under the big tree. One might imagine fun and folly to ensue, but what really takes place is branches being dislodged and lights hanging lower and lower as the weeks drag on. And let's not forget those poor tree skirts. How many times do I have to fix the damn tree skirts?!

The fallen...

So this week, two eyed cat has decided that, in preparation for the taking down of the trees, it's time to return to her favorite past time - obsessing over the fish. I think she's trying to prove that she has interests that span beyond tormenting the Christmas trees.

Stalker. Or just dedicated.

Each year, the battle between the cats and the trees has its ups and downs. This year was no different. The cats are always up to the challenge that the trees pose with their sparkly lights, dangling ornaments, and cozy skirts. The trees are undefeated, not falling for the cats and their tricks.

And so, this weekend, it all comes to an end once again.

Dear Cats,
Until next time. We won.
Signed,
The Trees

It's 2017 - now what?

It seems as if the new year's arrival brings about a nice time to make changes and set new goals. It would seem that I should be feeling inspired to set such goals and have a sort of plan for the coming year.

?

I don't.

I don't have a plan. I guess I'm kind of inspired, but not like "fire under my ass" inspired.

After my Whole30 in November, and my last post-W30 blog post in December, I made the most of the holiday season by enjoying sweet treats, imbibing a bit in the drink, and simply doing my best to make the best choices given the options presented to me in a given situation. In other words, I did not try to restrict my diet, but I did choose the lesser of evils at parties and at work, where food and sweets were abundant.

Happy new year!

I finally weighed myself on Christmas Day with our hostess for that evening, and the number on the scale was lower than I'd seen at any time in 2016. The hostess planned to weigh the next day and see what the Christmas dinner gain was, but I did not, and have not weighed since. I don't have a scale.  I kind of like it this way.

The sinus congestion, head cold, icky makes you feel like junk thing that's become so popular this season made its way to our house between Christmas and New Year's Eve and took me down. Just as I was recovering, BAM, the sinus infection set in. I'm on a 10-day course of an antibiotic that's also given to people with acne to clear up their skin. I now have three pimples on my face. On the up side, my sinuses are crystal clear.

Cold. This is fun?

My running shoes are no longer gathering dust like they did for much of 2016. With one race complete, and two future races paid for, I'm feeling like a runner again. Over the holidays when I was off work or working from home, I was able to get out during the week for some early morning runs and build up some miles prior to the new year. I completed, for the fourth time, the horrible, miserable, awful 5-mile S-No-W Fun Run last weekend. In full disclosure, running in the midwest in January isn't really ever promised to be awesome, but this race seems to attract the best of January midwestern weather, with sub zero wind chills and some wind that never seemed to be a tail wind. The plus sides are that it wasn't snowing, so footing wasn't bad, and it was sunny. The resulting party after the race made it all worth it, though, and just about everyone forgot just about everything by 5PM, for various reasons. Good times. I cannot wait to do this one again next year.

Looking ahead, I have a half marathon in March and a 10-miler in May. I'm working toward doing the Fargo Marathon in May, as long as I register by the end of this month, my self-imposed mental deadline. I'm going to begin training next weekend anyway, because that half falls right on a 13 mile weekend on the training schedule for the full. Gotta get to 13.1 anyway! I would love to get a marathon out of the way by summer and not deal with the post-marathon blues that I get in the fall. At the very least, I'd likely recover from that funk better, should it happen, in May than in October. Stay tuned. So far I'm surviving this winter without my usual S.A.D. crap, so that's a good thing.

Our family survived the holidays pretty well, aside from my sinus infection. Not being on our normal schedule for two solid weeks makes the kids feral by the end, but, all four of us managed to sometimes shower, leave the house a few times, and not get entirely pissed off at each other over the two weeks the kids were off school. I'm putting a check mark in the W column.

I'm hoping for a repeat Whole30 in February or maybe March. I am planning to get myself to do some cross training and lose this spare tire and gain some strength so I can break 4 hours in a marathon this year. I thought laughing at myself was good for that. It's not. Turns out, wine also doesn't do as much good as an hour in the gym like those articles all claim.

In all honesty, I'm hoping to make it through each day without causing my children to seek shelter with another family. I strive to make sure they don't tell people at school I if didn't make dinner and sound like it's a habit. Let's be real. Family first.

Do you do resolutions? Do you set goals at the new year? Enlighten me. Should I start?

Finding that comfort zone

I do not want to eat outside of the parameters of Whole30. I almost don't know what to do when faced with foods that are not W30 compliant. I continue to plan meals and snacks that are compliant and really don't want to stray. I have found comfort in knowing what's in the food I make, serve, and eat. There's comfort in knowing that what I'm eating won't leave me bloated or feeling badly. There's comfort in knowing that I'll wake up refreshed. It's a good feeling.

We had our annual wine and cheese party on Saturday night. I enjoyed some wine and a spritzer I made, as well as some cheeses and other snacks. I did not sit down with a plate full and gorge myself, I was very much in control of what I was taking in. Being hostess helped, too, because I didn't really have ample time to eat. I did eat lunch that day, just an Italian beef, no bun, so I was not starved and craving snacks.

Sunday was clean up day after a very late night, and I admit that I had some leftover taco dip and some cheeses with crackers. When you're too tired and lazy to cook, that's what happens. Plus, I'm a sucker for a good goat or sheep milk cheese. And brie. With apples. See, it was sort of healthy!

Today I was super tired, but I still made myself eggs and veggies for breakfast. I have bacon, but didn't have the energy to make it this morning. Tomorrow. Yes.

Aside from adding bacon, I don't really see myself changing my breakfast and lunch choices. I'm pretty happy eating as clean as I have been, and I like the way I feel when I do so. As drastic as it sounds, even my coffee hasn't been as satisfying as I thought it would be! After a cup or two in the morning, I'm fine, then I'm looking for my hot tea. I'm not going to argue, I'm going to enjoy it.

This weekend I may try to reintroduce another food/ingredient, but I will have to identify that in a couple of days. For now, I want to continue my focus on maintaining the good feeling of healthy eating. I'm also increasing my water intake this week. A few glasses of wine over the weekend and now I can't get enough water!

Whole30: Reintroduction

Coffeeeee!

Let me just say that after 30 days without coffee, I was a super happy camper yesterday morning hearing my coffee maker brewing when I came down to the kitchen. Let me also say that I don't think my feet touched the ground for most of yesterday after enjoying that delicious coffee. Within 20 minutes of those first few sips, I could feel the caffeine coursing through my veins. And I probably could have cleaned my entire house before leaving for work. But I didn't.

That first cup was wonderful, although I admit that it did taste different than I expected, and different than it did in October. Clearly, my tastes changed in the absence of my creamer and sugars in general. Looking back, I used to have a splash of coffee with my creamer, which is part of what led me to cut the coffee out in the first place.

Luckily, I was able to fall asleep without any issue last night. The buzz from the coffee started to subside in the late afternoon, and by late evening I was fine. I am having coffee again this morning and feel OK, but I am definitely jazzed again like yesterday.

I had some smoked sausage last night with W30 compliant French's mustard, and I felt OK this morning. No refulx or stomach issue, no wonky feeling. I'm on to day two post-Whole30, and not adding anything until this evening, when I may try a glass of wine. I must eat tomorrow, as the wine and cheese party is tomorrow night and I CAN'T not eat. I'm going shopping during lunch to get a start on the weekend grocery shopping, and get some stuff for tomorrow that is easy to prepare amidst cleaning and prepping for the party.

Note to self: November seemed like a great time for this W30, but, in the end, the reintroduction is proving more difficult than the month of restriction.

Whole30, day 30

Last day. November has felt like it was flying by sometimes, and at other times it felt like December may never come. For breakfast today I'm enjoying green beans, asparagus, sweet potato, and two eggs. For lunch I have leftover compliant sloppy joes, and for dinner we're having leftovers, so I'm going to have salmon and salad. I have olives and red pepper with me to snack on.

If you are considering a Whole30, here are some insights I can offer.
-Really dig deep and think about why you are doing a Whole30. Keep your 'why list' close to you the whole time. As you get closer to the finish line, this will help keep you motivated.
-The holidays are not the right time to do this if it's your first Whole30. You need time, you must be prepared, and the fewer temptations that are around you, the better.
-It's not about what you can't have, it's about what you can have. There is so much food out there waiting to excite you!
-Think positive. If you don't go into this with a positive mindset, it will be more difficult to get through it.
-Try some new recipes before you start. Don't go into a Whole30 thinking you're going to try all new recipes every night. You are going to need to experiment with what works for you based on your lifestyle. I work full time so it's necessary for me to spend time on the weekend prepping for week night meals. Make meals ahead, cut veggies, do what you can on the weekend to save precious time on the week nights.
-Tell the people around you what you are doing. When someone knows you are making changes in your diet, they are apt to help you out and encourage you. This also makes it easier when you attend parties, gatherings, or host people in your home.
-Don't stop at the end of 30 days. I don't mean to eat your whole life Whole30, that's not realistic. What I mean is, don't see this as a quick diet, a 30 day plan that ends and you go right back to your ways. You will learn a lot about what you eat and why, so if you're not ready to make some long-term changes, wait until you are ready.
-I stood at the store once looking for quick snack foods, and quickly realized I was looking at foods that I never eat normally. Don't grab for a food just because it is compliant. Do you *need* it, or are you looking to fill a void or satisfy a craving? Did you eat enough at your last meal? Are you really hungry?
-Drink water.
-You *can* live without coffee. I finally realized that I drink my coffee for the creamer. 30 days without it was not that bad, and I know I purged my body of a lot of sugar, even if you're like me and drink coconut or almond milk creamer instead of the commercial brands.
-You *can* live without alcohol. Honestly, there is clarity in not drinking alcohol. It's pretty awesome, actually.
-You can do this.
-You don't know until you try.

Would I do this again? Hell to the yes. I would probably choose a month where there isn't a major holiday, and when I'm not in high gear training for a race. February comes to mind, as I could begin at the end of January, or go a couple days into March.

One thing to consider if you're thinking about a Whole30 is the end - what do you have going on after your Whole30 ends? Reintroduction is important, you need to go slowly in order to identify how your body handles different foods and ingredients. If you end right before, let's say, Easter, you'll sit down to that meal and unless you prepare, your body just might not enjoy the feast as much as you hope you might.

All that said, I have been drooling in anticipation of a nice cup of coffee tomorrow morning. I can almost taste that warm cup of creamer coffee, feel it in my hands....

Nevermind. Day 30 is here, and I must savor this final day!

That was just a bump in the road, right? Three.more.days.

A summary of my weekend's transgressions:

Thanksgiving - one glass of wine, a splash of Bailey's in post-dinner coffee, a few bites of stuffing
Saturday night - one glass of wine, some summer sausage
Yesterday - a couple fries

I am OK with these. Am I proud? Hell to the no. I did not feel well after the wine and stuffing incident. I learned the art of control, though. It all happened because I wasn't sufficiently prepared. OK, that's mostly a lie. I brought homemade ranch and veggies for an app, I was armed with my sweet potato dish for dinner (which was amazing, BTW), and I went in knowing what I needed to do. Two words - family, Thanksgiving. I was not W30, but, I was not gluttonous as I would have been otherwise.

The wine, well that was a matter of willpower (how do you say no to this?), but I used control! I did not keep on, I stopped. This is something I've always found to be a challenge, but I feel like I've got a handle on it now. I could never have had just a glass of wine before. Probably a problem, but, I can happily limit, or even pass, now.

I am wearing pants today that I haven't been able to fasten in almost a year. The Vera Wang pants I got at Kohl's last winter are now too big for me. I have a clear head, energy, and desire to do things. I could not have gotten all that I got done this weekend if I'd not cleared my mind and body like I have.

I've had some of the best running in November. It's wonderful run after a good night sleep, to not be bloated, for my running tights to actually fit. I haven't talked myself out of a single run due to a headache, sore gut, or fatigue. I feel good, and I feel good running. Yeah!

I have formed new relationships with food. I have developed new ways of thinking about eating, cooking, and the 'why' behind it all. I am slowly learning what makes me feel good, and what drags me down. I will continue to learn as I reintroduce foods post-Whole30, and beyond.


Three days left. Thursday morning I get my Dunkin' french vanilla with coconut milk creamer, though, and that's helping me out this last few days.

To my daughter upon turning 12

Dear Ethel,

Twelve years ago, you made me a Mommy. The last 12 years have gone by quickly at times, and I often wish I could hit a pause button so I could enjoy some of those times for longer. As much as I want it to sometimes, time doesn’t stop, and you have grown into a beautiful, funny, smart, and happy young lady.

Nothing has made me more proud than being your mom. Watching you take your first steps, get and lose your first teeth, start your first day of kindergarten, and eventually get on the school bus headed for sixth grade, it’s all magical to witness as a Mommy. You have always handled new adventures, challenges, and stages in your life with determination and confidence.

I want you to always know that I love you and I am proud of who you are. We have our difficult times, but we have fun times, too. I treasure all the times we have together. I enjoy seeing you with your friends because it is very clear that they enjoy your company, they respect you, and they know what a good friend you are to them.

You are sensitive, kind, empathetic, and loving. You are confident, proud, and strong. You are funny, quick-witted, and smart. You are learning some independence and showing more responsibility at school and at home. It is exciting to watch you develop and grow into the person that you are, and to see your extreme interest in the world around you. Your imagination and sense of humor are a joy and amaze me every day. I adore that you love astronomy and the universe, you get great enjoyment from music, and both of those things open up a whole world of opportunity for you.

I hope that you enjoy your 12th birthday and all the birthdays that lie ahead. I am excited for all that your birthdays have in store for you as you continue to grow. May all your birthday wishes come true, baby girl. Remember, Mommy loves you. I always have, and I always will.

Love,
Mommy

Day 21, Interlude day - nine.more.days....

There are nine days left in this Whole30. Nine.days.left. It feels odd to be saying that when all month long it's felt more like a month left every day. The end is near. It's almost bittersweet. I'm settling in to the point where I almost wonder how to eat any other way. Well, let's not get wild. I am really looking forward to my morning coffee and coconut milk creamer, and the ultimate pay off - a glass of wine. For now, though, I've found some new recipes and love what I've made, and I enjoy looking for new stuff to make and I look forward to eating it.

I'm not ready for a summary just yet, but I can say these few things about the process so far:

• Overall bloating is way down. It's incredible how used to being bloated we get without realizing it.
• My watch is loose on my wrist. See above point.
• Prosciutto. Need I say more?
• Sleep is sooooo much better. Without the uppers (coffee) and downers (alcohol) to fuel the daily duel, it's amazing how good sleep can be. Except, of course, if your cat sleeps on your head like mine does. 
• Steamed brussels sprouts. Who knew?
• I have so much more energy. Wow.

Two tidbits I do have at this stage, however, should help you decide if fall is a good time for you to try a Whole30.

1. There is a reason they don't encourage you to do a Whole30 at/around the holidays. One word - Thanksgiving.
2. Fall time change. Yikes. I hadn't anticipated my changing energy levels in conjunction with the time change. It's midnight before I leave work at 4:30PM.

Tidbits and challenges aside, I truly enjoy the way I'm feeling and the way my clothes fit me now. I look forward to getting things accomplished on weekends because I know I won't be dragging in the morning from eating like crap the night before or having too many glasses of wine.

Nine more days. No biggie, right?

Smack dab in the middle

Day 16
Right now I really want to sit down with a glass of wine and a big chocolate chip cookie.

In reality, I'm eating grapes the size of my thumb, drinking lemon green tea, and trying to hold off eating my almonds.

More than half way there. Exactly two weeks left.

Thank you, Veterans

Thank you to all who have served our country, protected our freedoms, and those who made the ultimate sacrifice for our nation.

We can still hold hands

At nine years old, I know my days of snuggles, hugs and kisses, and holding hands with my son are numbered. That is to say, I hold no illusion that he'll be letting me give him a kiss goodbye in high school. At least not in public. For now, though, I relish these times when I can hold him and reassure him, kiss him goodbye before school, and have him reach for my hand when we walk together.

This morning on the way to before school care, we were walking in like any other morning. This morning, though, his hand felt different in mine. It felt stronger, fuller, bigger.

Me:
"Look that that, your hand is almost as big as mine. Some day it will be bigger than mine."
Fred:
"We can still hold hands when it's that big, right?"
Me:
"Yes, we can, baby."
Fred:
Smile, look of relief on his face.

And he kissed and hugged me goodbye when I left.

This moment was brought to you by love.

Day nine observations

A couple things I'm noticing already:

My watch is loose on my wrist. It's been on the same hole as always, but, it's looser. Can't get down to the next hole, but this is a nice thing to notice.

Belly bloat is way down. I didn't expect this as much, so I guess I was really bloated and not just fat in that area. I'm not doing any bikini photo shoots by any means, but this is a nice thing to see.

Sleep is so much better. I'm not up as much during the night as I had been. The exception being the other night when a coyote called out at 2:30am. Last night, though, I slept all night long, all the way through to my alarm.

I'm more able to get things done around the house. I have more energy! Evenings this week have been tough, I admit, with the time change and all. I am ready for bed by 8PM. I think that exercise may help this and now that I'm past the first week of W30, I'll get back to the fitness center and get my body moving. Tomorrow night will be the first of these nights. I hope.

Today I want nothing but to dive into a candy bar. I am drinking lots of ginger tea, eating my 4oz. of raw nuts that I brought, and drinking water like a boss.

I can do this.

Week one down, 22 days to go

An easy start to day 8

One week down, only three more to go. Easy enough, right? Not so fast. This is far from easy.

On day one, I had a rush of panic in the middle of the morning. My brain flipped out. Not sure what the problem was. It's not like I've been snacking, eating crap, or binging for any recent period of time, but, knowing that those things are not part of the next 30 days really set in. Day one ended without a cheat or fumble, and all was well with the world.

The World Series happening on days one and two certainly didn't help me, but, I didn't let it derail the train. Luckily for my W30, I'm not a stress eater, rather, I can't eat. My stomach was in knots until Saturday, day five, so any thought of snacking or non-compliant cravings was really a non-issue. I even survived the downtown parade and celebration without even a coffee or adult beverage. How? I honestly don't know, but, my mental game is totally in check at this point.

Go Cubs go!!

 The #1 question I got about my Whole30 at a party on Saturday night was, "Why?". Why am I doing this? Why November? Why not in January? My answers sort of surprised even me. I don't think I'd truly thought too much about the 'why' of it all. Sure, some weight loss and feeling better were benefits, but, really......why?

Why am I doing this?
I want to feel better. I want to learn more about how my body reacts to different things I eat, so I know what causes my bloating, fatigue, and what impacts my ADD symptoms. I want to break some bad habits. It's been over three years since I did my first Whole30, and I've gotten off track with my good eating since then, developing some pretty bad habits in that time. I drink too much too often, and I make poor choices when I am hungry.

Why November?
I've spent the better part of a year now trying to get myself to put my fitness and health first. There is never a "good time". Initially, we didn't have much planned during November. I have mentally prepared myself to do this for a couple of months. We are home more now that it's fall, and I'm able to spend more time cooking and developing better habits regarding what I cook. I knew that by the time Ethel's birthday party weekend (19th) and actual birthday (26th) rolled around, I'd be well into the swing of things, and on my way to the finish line. I am confident that at Thanksgiving, I can handle myself, as well. I know that I can bring a side dish, then I will have turkey and my side, and any veggies or fruit that are there, and I'll be fine. I'm really not intimidated by Thanksgiving this year.

As for the question of why now, why not after the first of the year -
Starting in January seems much harder to me. After the gluttony that surrounds the holidays, it seems that it would take quite a bit more effort to adjust to things like not having my coffee, not having any wine with dinner, and not enjoying some of the treats I might otherwise reach for. I need to reset my mindset. I need to go into the holidays feeling good to start with, not feeling like I'm tired, unable to focus, and run down. With SAD season in full swing, it's also imperative that I keep those negative food influences to a huge minimum. I just felt like if I don't do this now, I know I'll continue on the path I've been on, and will be farther away from my overall fitness and health goals. I want to lose some weight and feel better in my own skin. I've been miserable for way too long.

I'm on day 8, and after a whirlwind weekend, I'm feeling pretty good. Days 6-7 are said to be the days your body wants nothing more than a nap. Well, we just had the fall time change, so mornings are a little easier for the next few days. The evenings and nights are when it's going to be tough. I was ready for bed at 7:30 the other night. After working all day today, tonight should be rather interesting. Today I feel as if I might have lost a little weight. I do see less bloat in my belly, and I do feel "lighter". I feel better. I know it will get worse before it gets better, and I'm just glad that's going to hit during the week rather than on the weekend. I have less access to eating crappy when I'm at work than I do at home.

I really feel that I'll come out better on the other side of this 30 days. It's not rocket science. This isn't an impossible mission. This is a change, one that I needed to make for myself. I am happier waking up not feeling bloated, tired, and unfocused. And now that the World Series is over, I can get back to my normal evening routines and normal bed time!

Next year is now

That is all.

It's only 30 days, right?

Halloween has now come and gone and I only ate two pieces of chocolate and a sip of wine. I wasn't able to snap any pictures of the kids in their costumes, a term loosely used this year, and I have no solid excuse. Last year was the first year we didn't go trick or treating as a family. Ethel decided she wanted to go with a friend, and it was the strangest feeling not having her with us. This year she repeated the trend, and we took Fred around our neighborhood. Last year his friends came around and we were able to organize a small posse. This year, he passed one friend and one came to the door later in the evening, but, none to walk the rounds with. We did get to walk with some neighbors and their lovely 16 month old, whom I also did not capture in a picture. Clearly I was off my picture taking game.

I did get this lucky shot of One Eyed Pete. Ethel removed both cats' collars so they could be stray cats for Halloween.

While Ethel, the unicorn, was out with friends, we were out with Fred, the hockey player. He skated around and eventually took a spill and wanted to go home. The magic just wasn't there for us this year, which was fine with me. Ethel, of course, still made candy collecting a sport and duly noted her triumph over Fred in the contest that wasn't a contest. For the first year in recent memory (well, 12 years for us), the weather was wonderful and walking around with the kids was actually pleasant. I did agree to a Butterfinger and some peanuts M&Ms, and a sip of wine from our lovely neighbors. They have learned well from my example, carrying on the "Drink and Treat" tradition that I started when Ethel was a wee one. Well done, neighbor!

Today I embark on my second Whole30. I am not going this one alone, I have two girlfriends along with me for this 30 day ride. We have already exchanged some day one words of encouragement, and we still like each other. We all know what we're in for, and have agreed not to take personally any negativity that any of us may spew between now and November 30th. We are all excited about feeling better, running better, and hopefully dropping a few pounds. 

Can I charge this guy rent?

 What better way to start your day than hearing, "Mommy, why is there a HUGE mosquito on your wall???"? The morning rush is fun enough, why not add a massive bug in the bedroom to the mix?

Despite the large insect in my room, I was able to squeeze out my breakfast and lunch for the day and get them packed. I've fallen for brussels sprouts over the past couple of years. No, it's not chocolate, but, I am not repulsed by them. If that doesn't sell you on trying them, I don't know what will. Anyway, breakfast is a simple combo of sprouts, slaw, red onion, and some diced chicken. Lunch is a Greek salad with tuna. That one I'm super excited to have later on!

I am on day six without coffee. Have you seen me on the news? No, you haven't. There, see? If I can do it, you can do it! I'm adding new focus to hot tea, which I usually enjoy in the winter anyway. The warmer fall we're having is making it a little harder to get into the hot drink spirit, but, I'm managing. Some peppermint tea to start the day is actually a bit refreshing.

My biggest difficulty is around 2:30 in the afternoon when I'm at work. That post-lunch food coma triggers my brain to want to eat everything crunchy and salty that it can find. It's the darndest thing. I've succeeded in beating the beast for the last two or three work days, so I'm pretty sure it's going to be OK. I've got a Larabar to help in case of emergency. Water, water, water.

Don't get used to the pictures or any sort of daily updates. Day one I'm still happy and feel encouraged. My next update may be hateful and angry. You've been warned.

You have to start somewhere

I plan our dinners two weeks at a time. I have tried many methods to this madness, as it can be monotonous to keep writing menus for four people with vastly different tasted and preferences. I don't really plan breakfasts and lunches, as I do my own breakfast, the kids eat cereal every weekday morning, and Hot Dad doesn't generally eat breakfast. The kids pack their own lunches for school, Hot Dad usually buys fast food or something, and I pack leftovers, salads, or whatever I can whip up at 0'dark:30 in the morning before work.

This weekend I planned out my two week menu and grocery list so that I would be prepared when I begin this Whole30 next week. I'm gently phasing out my morning coffee, and by next Tuesday I'll be at least four days coffee-free. My biggest challenge right now is the World Series. I've never in my lifetime had to worry about sports in October taking over any aspect of my life, but now the CHICAGO CUBS ARE IN THE WORLD SERIES. Holy mother of pearl. Let's just hope that we don't need those last two games. Please.


While this isn't a huge challenge in the great big picture of life, it just seems contradictory to celebrate or toast the big game (and a big victory) with peppermint tea or a big glass of ice water. I'm fine with the no alcohol part of this whole thing, overall, but, come on, THE CUBS ARE IN THE WORLD SERIES!! If ever there was a test of my willpower, this will be it. No wine. No Old Style. No.booze.at.all. During the World Series. This makes Thanksgiving look like a drop in the Whole30 bucket.

I guess that the World Series isn't my *only* challenge over this 30 day time. I had already accounted for Thanksgiving, but, that one is pretty easy in the grand scheme of things. One day, one big meal, I just planned to come prepared with a side that I can enjoy along with the turkey. Done.

Have you ever decorated a Christmas tree? Are we friends on Facebook? If you answered yes, have you ever wanted to "unfriend" me over Thanksgiving weekend while I spend the weekend dealing with two cats, two kids, two trees, and a zillion stupid lights that only burn out after I've woven them into the branches of the tree(s)? Have you? Do you know how many bloody marys that weekend demands? How many bottles of wine it takes to get through each evening before the tree is finally done and the house looks more like a home than a battlefield of Christmas crap? This is the part that I hadn't taken fully into account when I chose November as my magic month. Decorating for the holidays. November is quickly proving to be a tough time for this undertaking. But I'm up for it. I am.

Want to know why I'm up for it? Because regardless of when it happens, change is hard. There isn't a single month when there isn't *something* going on, and if I wanted until a month without something going on, I would be waiting for the rest of my life. Because I have to shake things up in order to get my brain fully in the game. There's no time like the present.

It begins, for me, one week from today. I am ready. I am excited to be trying some new recipes this week and next. I am excited to start feeling better. I am excited for more energy, to lose a few pounds, and to establish some new habits. I'm excited. I'm ready. GO CUBS!!!!

Because elastic pants aren't ideal

My daughter has some sensory things going on, so from a very early age she has worn nothing but leggings. As long as the waist is elastic (no buttons, snaps, zippers) she'll wear it, and Old Navy has leggings for cheap. Done. I am now 44 years old and don't have the same sensory things going on, so I will wear jeans, shorts, or pants with buttons or snaps or zippers.

Over the last two years, my activity level has gone way down. I stopped playing softball, and I have reduced my running to almost a dead stop. After finishing the Grand Rapids Marathon in 2014 I fell into a polar vortex funk, using my newly acquired tendonitis in my ankle and the horrible winter as an excuse for not being more active. I was happy to sleep in on Saturday mornings, stay home with the kids on week nights, and continue with my food intake as if I was still training for the marathon. It was both a blessing and a curse when I discovered that Vera Wang made workplace appropriate pants with elastic in the waist line. Damn you, Vera!

Elastic pants should be reserved for kids like my daughter, toddlers wearing diapers, and adults on Thanksgiving a after the feast. While these pants are very comfortable, I never planned on them becoming such a staple in my wardrobe, let alone the only pants I could fit into for a full winter season. I initially intended to wear them through last winter season and get my butt in gear in the spring so I could get myself back in shape and back into my regular work pants. Then summer crept up, and whadda know - I barely squeezed into any of my summer wear. When you're unbottoning at your desk at work by 10AM, something is drastically wrong. Time to make some changes.

I started by going back to full-on Paleo in spring. Kind of fell off the rails over Derby weekend in May. Got back on the horse some time in June, and have done sort of OK since. I have run on and off during the summer months, but not enough that I'd even say I'm running. My hip took a bad turn, literally, to the point where I could barely walk until I went back to my PT, tail between my legs, and got it set back in place. That was a bit of a scare, I'll be honest. I haven't had a good long run since August 2015 when I was in San Francisco visiting family. It hurts, and it sucks. I need to get back into shape so I can run again, and keep my body from revolting.

Enter - dietary changes. Big ones. I can't ignore it any longer. Enter - exercise. I run, I like it, I can do it, it's easy for me, and I miss it. Running isn't going to get me into the shape I need to be in to stay healthy. My hips aren't going to just magically stay in place without some help. I have to focus on long term health, not just getting through the next marathon, the next 5K PR, or fitting into pants. 

Welcome, my second Whole30. My first foray into Whole30 was in April 2013. I was introduced to it, and Paleo life, by a good friend of mine, and we did the 30 day adventure together with another friend. It was pretty awesome, I have to admit. It changed the way I eat and the way I look at the food I cook for me and my family. I made a half-hearted attempt at it again last November and I crashed and burned. I wasn't mentally in the game, and I didn't plan like I should have. This time is different.

I'm now meeting with a personal trainer to develop a workout plan. I joined the chintzy fitness center at the end of my street so I have a place to go away from the kids, the kitchen, and messy house, to focus on me. I'm declaring my readiness, and making myself accountable. I've set a few short term goals for myself which are realistic and attainable. In the longer term, I'm looking at getting back to marathon training. In the longer long term, I am excited to have more energy, more strength, and less time saying, "I'm injured". No more excuses. Time to prevent the injuries!

I'm only putting this out there because one of the first things I need to do is acknowledge my commitment. I have to make this real. I have to step outside my comfort zone. I have to follow through. I'm not a gym rat, I hate gyms. This fitness center is less of a gym and more like someone's basement that a few people visit on occasion and I like that. It's not crowded. It's not full of skinny bitches, guidos, and sweaty assholes. It's not the most modern facility, but I have to get out of my house and make this happen. Fitness and health don't just happen, you have to make them happen.

I'm excited for this Whole30 because I want to feel better, and I know this will get me there. Nothing is easy, but I know I can do this. You're probably wondering, what the hell is Whole30? All I'm going to say is it's all over the 'web, so I'm not going to reinvent the wheel. Visit the web site, or Google it, and learn for yourself. That's the beauty of the internet!

So there, I said it. I'm doing it. I will begin my Whole30 on November 1st. I'm preparing menus, shopping lists, and I'm preparing my mind. I'm no food photographer, and I don't like to stop and take pictures of every step of something I'm doing. I do need to keep some sort of diary of my progress, and when I think of it and have the time (ie: when I'm not cooking and food prepping) I'll do that here. I'm not one to go shout from mountain tops and tell everyone they should do this, and I'm not here to get anything out of using my blog to track this, only to give my brain a space to unload and share my experience, and maybe some bad pictures of good food. If that's not inspiring, I don't know what is, right?

Because it's Friday

What a difference a year makes. At this time last year, my daughter was on the auction block, I was ready to run away from home, and what little homework my kids brought home was more confusing than iTunes. Today, my daughter brushed her hair without me asking, I'm home sick, and the children have not run away. I'm calling this a win.

At 11, Ethel was less than thrilled about going to summer camp this year until she found out that some of the kids from the last couple summers would be going again this year. Fred is rather indifferent about these things, but will sometimes admit that he'd like to stay home once in a while instead. This summer we totally lucked out in the game of childcare, in that my mom agreed to take the kids for a spell over the summer. Yes, that's right, we were CHILDLESS for THREE WHOLE WEEKS!!!!

What do parents do when their children are gone for such a time? That's a really good question, and we spent the whole three weeks trying to figure that out.

Loaded and ready to head to sunny skies.

Ethel doing her best, "I'm not going to cry".

For the kids, there was plenty of fun, sun, swimming, junk food, sleeping, and time with their Nani. Nani has reunited with a friend from high school who is also navigating his golden years on his own, and they have joined forces to navigate those years together. In talking to the kids about how to address him, Fred offered the sweet name of Professor Poopy Pants, after a succession of other names which can't be blogged at this time. The kids took to him like butter to toast, especially Fred, and they had such a great time in Florida, as pictured here:

Hi, Mom! It's so SUNNY!

So what did Mommy and Daddy do for three weeks? Well, I'll summarize it by telling you that the house is clean, the kids' rooms are cleaned and purged, and we kept the three fish and two cats alive. Another big win. Prior to departure, Ethel's greatest fear was that we would let the cats and fish die, as parents are apparently inept when it comes to feeding and caring for animals. The argument makes total sense to an 11 year old, so we agreed to do our best with the pets, but made no promises. We won the bet. We did get to see the kids on Skype on occasion, which was reassurance that they were not running away with the circus. Well, sort of.

We did get out a little and have some time with friends, Daddy tried to learn how to take a selfie, we went away for a few days, and, best of all, I had a break from the never ending cycle of trying to plan and execute meals that all of us would eat. The grocery bill was lower than it's been in 12 years! Sadly, my life is exciting enough that this made me super happy. As in, I haven't been that happy about groceries in a long, long time.

Daddy trying to learn the art of the selfie.

I admit that the last week of the trip, I was pretty anxious about the kids' return. I was both excited and bummed about planning meals, the start of the school year, and early morning alarm clocks. You don't realize what takes up your time until your kids are gone. A friend of mine was right when she said, "It makes you wonder what you'd be doing with your time if you didn't have kids". Yes, this. Nobody needs anything. Nobody interrupts you with demands or fights. The house was so.very.quiet. And clean.

Little humans make such messes. Little humans usually don't clean up those messes. Lucky for our little humans, we got a brand new vacuum cleaner while they were gone! In all honesty, this excited me more than the grocery thing. It's wonderful. We have now taught the kids how to use it, and using it is on their list of weekend jobs. This does not excite the little humans. At all.

We're off to a good start to the school year, too. Ethel started 6th grade and takes the bus for the first time. She joined cross country, and came in 12th overall for 6th grade girls in her first meet. She's got a strategy for placing higher in the next meet. Fred is in his first inline hockey league. Skill-wise, he's in the middle of the pack on his 10-kid team, and is getting better each day. Scouts is back in swing, and we're about to become popcorn pushers. Oh how I love that popcorn.

Where do we go next? Well, Ethel has declared that she is going to make her Halloween costume this year. She wants to be a unicorn. When asked about this costume, I was advised, quite gruffly, "You'll SEE!". Will she trick or treat? "Of course, why wouldn't I {complete with eye roll}?". Stay tuned. Fred is still undecided on his costume.

Until next time.....

Skipping ahead a little

Junior high open house was tonight. Now, I do get that the students are trying their hardest to make their parents look stupid, but, wow. They are also somewhat embarrassed, I'm sure, but, holy hell.

We arrived to school and the doors were locked. We were told to be there 30 minutes prior to the start of the open house for a chorus meeting. Locked doors was not good. My hot flashes were in high gear, and I was getting annoyed as each door we tried was locked. School doors being locked drives me BONKERS, especially on nights when parents have been invited. I don't care about what prep they have, don't lock the freaking doors.

So, we get in, and Ethel basically just stands there, then tells us to guess where chorus is. We had to be there at 5. It's now 5:10. No, we're not looking for it, you take us to it. This conversation took about 3 minutes. In the hallway. We get to chorus, and the teacher's doing a presentation. A presentation. About chorus. Dude. Now Fred has to go to the bathroom so Hot Dad takes him. I was a singer, I can't say enough about how much I support music (we need more music in schools!!), but, a presentation about chorus? There's a handout covering required rehearsals, fundraising, and materials. Fundraising. For chorus. A class, not an extra curricular. I was horrified. As a tax payer and a parent, I'm offended to be asked to help at a car wash and volunteer time or give money for that and a choral thing in the spring. Seriously, this is shit the schools should be taking care of. I know, I know, that's not how it is these days, but that's crap. People piss and moan about their taxes, but, they stick me with doing shit to make money for a piano accompanist for chorus, which is a school class. Wonder if we'll get a fundraising request from science, art, or language arts. I digress.

Leggings are not allowed for choral performances. That should be fun. Maybe I can ask her to raise some money to hire someone to take my daughter shopping for a skirt or pants and some black flats.

Moving on. Open house begins and Ethel has no idea what to do. And Fred has to go to the bathroom again. Are we supposed to follow your schedule? I don't know. Ok, do we need to go to the front of the building first? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. !!!!!!! So I make some suggestions, to which Hot Dad tells me I need to chill out or back off and he rolls his eyes at me. Meanwhile, we're just standing in the hallway and Ethel has no idea what we should do. And I am a towering inferno about to melt the floor in the midst of these hot flashes. My clothes are sticking to me. And Ethel is clueless as to what to do. I suggest we go to her locker.

At her locker, she dicks around and tells us to try to open it. She uses every stall tactic in the book, and we have yet to see any classes besides the fundraiser. I mean chorus. And.I.am.burning.up.

After more jerk faced "OK, now you find the room", she finally conceded to take us to classes in order of her schedule. This can only be accomplished by an 11 year old via comments about how we don't know where we're going, feigning confusion over which hallway to go down, and walking in front of your mother because it's apparently cool to appear out of control of your body and unable to identify when you're walking in someone's space. Then grin and giggle about it while your father rolls his eyes at your mother and shoots her evil eyes because you keep walking in front of her and she asks you to stop. While your mother continues to melt floor tiles.

We get to language arts and meet her teacher. Her teacher suggests that Ethel show us a particular project they've done that deals with the summer reading book. "Oh, you guys started talking about it, that's good", I said. The teacher was like, ah, ya, of course we have (I super paraphrased that, she was super professional about it, but, did reveal a little surprise at my statement) - because I would know that when my kid came home telling me about her day and all the things she did, including the project about the summer reading book. If I lived on Mars.

So next is math. Ethel walks us through the halls to an area where there are three doors, one is closed. The other two appear semi-welcoming with open doors, but she tells us she doesn't have class in those rooms. Her math class is the closed door room, but, the teacher whose name is on the door isn't her math teacher.
----we stand there----I ask what she does at math, if perhaps she has math in the hallway - Hot Dad shoots me an EVIL EYE. Apparently that question was out of line.

After a minute or two standing before the closed door, it's finally revealed by Ethel that her math teacher is also the gym teacher, so she's in the gym and we're not going to go see her. We didn't ever enter the closed door. It remains a mystery to the parents.

I believe this is where I melted the brick on the walls of the next hallway as we debated (a kinder word than what really went down) what to do next, finally settling on the "ice cream social". I figured this was a PTO thing, so I was looking forward to meeting some other parents or something.

We enter the cafeteria to find one of the assistant principals standing over a cooler handing out Klondike bars and other assorted frozen treats. Very ice cream, not too social. It was a needed break, though.



This was where the principal was super surprised when I told him, "We can't be the only ones who just got this picture day flyer today after school. After picture day happened. Today." He was genuinely, 100% surprised by the idea that a 6th grader did not bring home the picture day flyer that they received less than 24 hours before picture day. I want to live in this man's world, that's all I can say about that.

At some point, we got to visit science and that was cool. The teacher did not ask us for money or time, but, did ask us to tinker with some of the small experiments she had set up on the tables. Fred about blew a gasket trying to figure out how the metal ball transformed into a ping pong ball after being dropped into a bowl of popcorn kernels. I seriously thought we'd have a clean up in aisle 'science' when I saw the look on his face. So, that was a win. Ethel didn't really show us anything in there. We left.

Eventually we were led back to the closed door room. Again, we stood there before the three doors, one of which led to a room filled with parents and students learning about what goes on in there during the day. I asked, again, if Ethel has a class in the hallway where we stood, and there it came again - EVIL EYE. Seriously? I guess it's not a good idea to press the tween for actual facts and not just a view of a hallway. Whatevs.

Lucky for us, the teacher in front of the other open door with an empty classroom told us that Ethel has study in empty room (they call it study these days, in an ironic twist, they dropped the 'hall'). Oh, nice to meet you. Ethel apparently sits in front of this teacher, usually reading or doing her homework. Good news!

We finally left the three doorways in our dust (because I burned it all down after a hot flash). I think Ethel saved the best for last, and led us to the art room. This, only after challenging us, again, to find it on our own. I think she really did want to get left there for the night, but, I hear they frown upon that, so we gently convinced her to take us to the art room.

In the art room we got to do a project. All four of us got to color pieces of what will eventually become a collaborative art piece. I assume that's a loose term for it, collaborative, since we really didn't collaborate with anyone. Oh, right, this isn't language arts, that was the first class.

Upon leaving the art room, I ask what is next, and Ethel tells me that's it, we saw all her classes. I was so happy that it was finally time to go home! Until Fred said he had to go to the bathroom. And when I repeated this, "OK, so you need to go potty", he quickly corrected me. "No, poop". Ethel proceeds to mock him for his frequent bathroom usage and for having to poop. About now I'm hoping there might be booze at this ice cream social because I'm about to lose my shit.

Fred drops his deuce, we go to Ethel's locker to make sure there's nothing she's forgotten, and suddenly it hits her that we HAVE to go to the library. Oh holy mother of pearl. Fine. After being ambushed by the local library lady, who was genuinely nice but we don't live in that town thank you, we enter the library. We see a parent I know and we exchange greetings and groans about the joys of he evening, and I turn to Ethel and ask what she wanted us to see. "I don't know, I haven't really spent any time in here".

Good.ness.gra.cious. Keeping my hot, steamy, flashing calm, we agree to head back to the car. We have now been here for two solid hours and I am sure that people can see flames coming off my skin. The weather is tropical, too, which makes this even more fun.

By some Heavenly miracle, she finished her homework when we got home and both kids got to their bedtime routines without yelling, crying, or falling apart. They're both upstairs quiet (this can't be good, or can it?) and I'm about to head up to tell Fred it's lights out.

All I can say is that if I don't start running again soon, there is little doubt you'll see us on the news.